C Sections are NOT the Easy Option

c section

Hi Everyone,

Prepare yourself readers. I’m in a feisty mood as I write this! So, I hear people think Caesarean Sections are the “easy option”…..!! The celebrity choice. Too posh to push. In fact the other day I read this, written by a female author who had had more than one C Section herself and proclaimed:

Everybody knows a woman who has a C-section is taking the easy way out of labour and childbirth. In fact, many go so far as to say she didn’t really give birth at all. If a woman can get pregnant, she can give birth naturally. It’s science. Women who have C-sections are just choosing not to give birth the right way. Which is why, if you’ve chosen to have a C-section (because it’s always a choice) instead of breaking your vagina by passing a baby through it, you haven’t actually given birth. You’ve taken the easy way out.  

Real women break their vaginas the way God intended. I should know because I am not a real woman. I took the easy way out. I chose to have three c-sections, and let me tell you, they were each a cakewalk”.

Now first of all I must stress this article was genuine. It was not spoof, or sarcasm. The writer went on to say that through her choice of having  C Sections she wasn’t a “real woman” (I HATE THAT TERM) and she was proud of it and her choice.  The message in her article was to “own it”.

I am all for us women having a choice and making the right decisions for ourselves but I have to say this article pissed me right off. First of all C Sections are not a walk in the park. They are major surgery, one that you have to spend at least six weeks recovering from! And it’s not like you can just chill after having one; the tiny human that popped out of that incision will make sure of that.  I think a lot of women see the celebrity craze of C sections and opt for them thinking it might be easier and less scary than a natural delivery. And that is the individuals choice. But it shouldn’t be seen as the easy way out; yes you may well avoid the exhaustion and pain of labour but you’ve got to go through a major operation, a long recovery and are left with a daily reminder along the top of your bikini line.  I just wish women knew that it’s not al a breeze. It’s certainly not something I am against, but I would never see it as an easy option.

real women

It doesn’t matter how you do it;  how ever you brought your child into the world, it makes you a REAL WOMAN. And what the hell she means by saying you have a choice….. let me rectify that. I went through 36 hours of labour, including failed forceps before I was told that for mine and the babies safety, I HAD TO HAVE A C-Section. Not a choice, a strongly recommended piece of medical advice. There is nothing easy about going through a C-Section. It’s scary and it’s a situation that is out of your control in the sense that you have to leave it all to the surgeons and have faith in the medical team. It is just as much an act of giving birth as a vaginal delivery. I was absolutely petrified during my C-Section (as well as being delirious after no sleep in 36 hours), and I really struggled with the recovery in terms of being a bit mentally scarred by it all as well as being a lot less physically able to do day to day things that we take for granted until we are unable to do them without help. But having said all that, I will choose to have an elective C Section if and when I have another baby. This is because I’ve been told that will be the recommended safer option for me and I will always follow the medical advice I’m given. But surely anyone can see, that is not an easy decision for me to make; it’s a big operation, it’s a lengthy recovery and it really frightened me.  It certainly isn’t some light hearted decision made because the latest celeb Mum has declared it is super easy and you’ll be trotting about doing your food shopping two days later. And it certainly isn’t something we should feel any less of a woman about.

The writer of the article I’ve referred to totally gives us C-Section Mums a bad name. So many people genuinely do think having a C-Section is the easy option and belittle other Mothers for having them. So reading something like that, written by someone saying they’d had a C-Section and then agreeing it was the cowards option is just going to enforce that stigma associated with C Sections. I think it’s really damaging.  Now however you decide to have your baby, we all delivered our babies the same – through blood, sweat, tears, exhaustion, and a lengthy recovery. Shame on anyone who would think less of a woman for her personal decision on how to have her child brought into this world. Don’t mock any woman for having a C Section, despite what this person has said it is NOT always a choice and even if it is a choice you make, you shouldn’t be made to feel ashamed of that in any way, shape or form.

all-women-are-real-women

And whilst I’m on a rant, can I just say, “real woman” is the most irritating saying ever!!!! I don’t care if you’re curvy, thin, rich, skint,have stretch marks, had a natural pain relief free birth, or are the epitome of perfection, none of us should be deemed real woman on such off the cuff remarks. That is now how a woman should be defined. We’re all REAL WOMEN simply because we are WOMEN! We (usually) empower each other, support each other, champion each other. We are the sex that goes through childbirth, pregnancy, period pains and a vast array of uncontrollable hormones!  I wish this phrase would stop being used behind the disguise of celebrating an individual trait in someone because it doesn’t celebrate anything. If anything, it pits us against one another; I’m naturally slim, so am I any less of a real woman than Holly Willoughby with her beautiful curvy figure. I had a C Section, does that make me any less of a real woman than my best friend who went through a natural delivery. No it doesn’t! So quite frankly I’d like to see the back of this saying, and of women shaming each other in anyway for their choices. If a C Section is what you choose or are medically advised to have, then don’t let anyone make you feel bad for it. Cause to be blunt, you’re bringing life into the world, and whichever way you do it, it’s going to bloody hurt!!!  So celebrate that instead; you’re strength and womanly instincts to handle any thing that’s thrown your way.

xxx

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40 Comments

  1. March 15, 2016 / 8:53 pm

    What an odd post by the person claiming not to be a ‘real women’ as they had a c-section. I can see how that would annoy lots of people. I am amazed that she found it easy. I haven’t met anyone who found it a walk in the park. x

      • March 15, 2016 / 9:11 pm

        Just thinking about my own c-section makes my stomach turn and that was 3 years ago. 😮

  2. March 15, 2016 / 10:42 pm

    Massive AMEN to everything you’ve written here! Real women are whatever they want to be and I absolutely hate how everything that women do (inclusive giving birth ffs!) is turned into some weird competition! Getting your baby out safely is ALL that matters, I couldn’t give a toss how that happens and neither should anyone else xx

  3. March 16, 2016 / 12:08 pm

    Perhaps for some women a C-section is ‘easy’, but it’s still major surgery and for most people will require a long time to get over. Adding to that the fact that most women I know who’ve had C-sections end up with them having had a long labour, forceps, episiotomy, the works! It’s a medical decision, looking at what’s best for the mother and the baby – however anyone gives birth is no business of anyone else’s! #BloggerClubUK

  4. March 16, 2016 / 10:19 pm

    This is so ridiculous & I’m so amazed that it’s an issue that needs to be mentioned, I totally wouldn’t judge someone for having a c-section & I’m shocked, (but not surprised!!), that it happens. Having all your core muscles sliced in half is not only agonising but limits such a massive range of movement after. I’m angry on your behalf that you were made to feel crappy about it. Birth is messy, painful, worrying, emotional & traumatic however you deliver I think. #abitofeverything

    • March 17, 2016 / 8:52 am

      I know it’s just insane! I’d love to do something to end the stigma associated with c sections xx

  5. March 17, 2016 / 8:31 am

    Love this post! I think people forget that a c-section is a major operation and the recovery is slow and painful! As I had an EMCS I hadn’t done any research into what a caesarean involved so felt completely unprepared for what I went through. Having said that I had a great recovery but was very lucky. Along with the term ‘real woman’ I HATE the term ‘natural’ labour – so because I didn’t give birth via my vagina, I had an unnatural labour?! ANY way you give birth is hard, birth should be celebrated however it happens! I have been putting some thought into how I would give birth in my next pregnancy and so many people tell me to “just have a c-section” as if it’s the easiest thing to do! Sorry, I went on a rant, but it’s a very touchy subject for me! #coolmumclub

    • March 17, 2016 / 8:51 am

      Couldn’t agree more honey I am in the same boat too. Xx #coolmumclub

  6. March 17, 2016 / 10:02 am

    C section is definitely not the easy option. I had an emergency caesarean section with my first after a very long labour. I was emotionally & physically exhausted. With my second I was given the option of an early elective c section but decided to give nature a chance. 10 days overdue nothe even a twinge so elective c section commenced. Both times I was just happy for a healthy baby & I know I did all I could. #coolmumclub lifeinthemumslane

    • March 17, 2016 / 10:09 am

      Thanks for this comment hun it fills me with some hope as I’ll be going through the same when baby two comes along xx

  7. March 17, 2016 / 11:08 am

    Well said. I’m 20 weeks in to my pregnancy and can honestly say there is no way I would ever say that a c-section is the easy way out. In fact the thought of having any sort of operation terrifies me so I’m not sure how I’d handle being told that this was the only way for me to deliver Pea safely. At the moment all I can hope for is that it doesn’t come to that, but I also know that I will, like you, follow the advice I’m given when the time comes and if that’s what we both need, then that will be what happens.
    I also hate the phrase real women. I don’t understand why women spend so much time judging each other. Since, through experience, we are best placed to know how hard some aspects of being a woman really are (pregnancy, periods, breast feeding etc) you’d think we’d also be best placed to support each other through these things. Maybe the judgement comes from insecurity – kinda like childhood bullying. #coolmumclub

  8. March 17, 2016 / 2:17 pm

    Giving birth whichever way you slice it is hard! Each way comes with it’s own set of problems. That’s all we need to recognise! Great post darling & thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub lovely x

  9. March 17, 2016 / 10:20 pm

    This is epic. Damn straight it’s not the easy option. My sisters had two c-sections and not by choice and by no means was it easy. And real women are women that exist. End of.

  10. min1980
    March 17, 2016 / 10:56 pm

    Completely agree with what you’ve said here. Not just about C-sections, but the real women thing-ARGH! Why are only some women deemed to be real women? Are others imaginary? #coolmumclub

  11. March 18, 2016 / 7:51 am

    Could not agree with you more on this. I wrote a post last year called C Section – Let’s Dispel Some Myths, after reading a rather annoyingly ignorant post on FB. It gets my back RIGHT UP when people seem to harbour the opinion that a C-Section is the ‘lazy way to give birth’….couldn’t be further from the truth. Glad I read this #coolmumclub

    • March 18, 2016 / 12:43 pm

      Absolutely agree – I’m going to read your post now xx

  12. March 18, 2016 / 12:06 pm

    Stupid comment. All that matters is mum and baby are safe. My son was breech so after a failed evc attempt my safest option was a c section. I was fine with it and very relaxed. Luckily i had no problems apart from the obvious pain afterwards but i do know people that had infections etc. I don’t understand why some feel the need to belittle others whether its how your childs deliverd, whether you use formula or breastfeed, nappies you use. Being a new parent is hard enough.

    • March 18, 2016 / 12:43 pm

      Absolutely! So much unnecessary judgement it’s just not what we need at the start of motherhood xx

  13. March 18, 2016 / 12:17 pm

    I HEAR YOU! I do not understand why is there even a need to compare the ways we give birth to our babies? Does it really matter? I know of mums who had C sections and honestly, their kids see them very much as Mum as much as the ones who didn’t. Thanks for sharing with #abitofeverything

    • March 18, 2016 / 12:42 pm

      I know it’s crazy! So glad you enjoyed the post xx

  14. March 18, 2016 / 10:36 pm

    They certainly aren’t the easy option. I’ve had a grab the baby out quickly forceps delivery, a crash emergency c-section and a planned section. None were easy. But the c-sections definitely take a lot longer to recover. It took a year before I could feel part of my stomach with my second and I still have a numb foot. I think you have to go through it to know. Great post x Thanks for linking #abitofeverything xx

    • March 19, 2016 / 7:00 am

      Blimey hun you have been through it! I’m so glad you enjoyed the post xx

  15. March 19, 2016 / 10:31 pm

    What a great post! I LOVE that second quote!
    I have never had a C-section and I would never say it was the easy option!
    Thank you for linking up to #Pregnancyandbeyond

  16. March 20, 2016 / 6:18 pm

    Well said my love! I have yet to have a c-section although got incredibly close last time round and that wasn’t through choice either. This time the jury is out and a lot will depend on the size of bubba as Monkey got well and truly stuck!! To be honest it would scare me too, and although my natural delivery (sort of!!) wasnt a cake walk personally I would prefer that option if I can. Purely because of the recovery and already having one child. I don’t know who the celeb was but she should be hauled up for be littleling women. after all we don’t all have servants and wet nurses on hand to look after our off spring after having major surgery. I won’t swear but I want to! Thank you for you for joining us at #BloggerClubUK hope to see you again next week xx

    • March 20, 2016 / 6:40 pm

      Thanks for your lovely comment! I’ll definitely be back next week xx #BloggerClubUK

  17. March 20, 2016 / 9:55 pm

    Oh gosh I’ve never heard of anyone bashing mums who have had C-sections before, how nasty! i know it is hard, I have friends and family who have had c-sections and the recovery after is so painful plus with looking after a newborn. I wish people would stop splitting mums into two different camps, we are all mums x
    #pregnancy&beyond

  18. April 22, 2016 / 8:03 pm

    I am so glad you have written this and that I came across it on twitter. I have a blog post sitting in my drafts because I am unsure about whether or not people want to read about my horrendous experience. I don’t wanna scare people but what I have said, as what you have said is all true. It is scary and like you I was also pretty out of it and exhausted. I needed to read these things after the surgery and I wish I had found blogs sooner, as it has taken me a long time to come to terms with it all and I still have some issues with it all now (my son was born xmas day too). Thanks for sharing 🙂

    • April 22, 2016 / 8:09 pm

      I’m so glad it helped you Hun! It’s such a massive thing to go through and shouldn’t be underestimated! It’s so tough and I hope what I’ve written has helped xx

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