Contradicting Advice… cheers for the head wreck “leading experts”!

Don’t give your baby water. But don’t let your baby dehydrate in hot weather. Give boiled water when it’s cooled. But don’t give tap water. Oh but you can give tap water after 6 months. Or one year. Or at all.

Don’t expose them to sunlight otherwise they’ll fry to a crisp in a matter of seconds. But don’t deny them sunlight otherwise they’ll get jaundice and develop Vitamin D deficiency.

Don’t pick them up every time they cry otherwise they’ll cry even more. But don’t let baby cry otherwise he will become traumatised and emotionally detached.

Don’t give your baby a dummy or he’ll have speech impediments. But do give your baby a dummy to reduce the risk of SIDS.

Don’t let babies room get too hot or he’ll have convulsions. But don’t let babies room get cold or he’ll become poorly.

Co-sleeping is the best way to get sleep, except that it can kill your baby, so never, ever do it. If your baby doesn’t die, you will need to bed-share until they start secondary school.

Don’t let your baby sleep too long, unless they’ve been napping too much, then you should wake them. But never wake a sleeping baby.

Don’t let baby sleep on its back or he’ll choke. Don’t let baby sleep on its front as he might suffocate (fortunately most of us don’t have to worry about the sleep thing because the baby doesn’t sleep therefore neither do we).

Don’t wean your baby on purees otherwise he’ll never be able to eat anything that requires chewing. But don’t do baby led weaning otherwise your baby will choke on the fresh food you’re giving them.

Don’t stress and clock watch everything you do with your baby. But do stick to a routine with the prowess and determination of Gina Ford if you ever want to sleep again.

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!

64575fecf12ccb608e4118c212436f78

Because we didn’t have enough “don’ts” inflicted upon us when we were pregnant, we are then inundated with them once the baby arrives. And because that just isn’t fun enough, it seems half the advice we get given is constantly contradicted by another piece of advice! The cherry on the cake is that this is pretty much always around really important phases for our little ones; feeding, sleeping, bathing them, and as I am now discovering, weaning.

Initially I was really looking forward to weaning Josh, getting him to try various foods and flavours. But I didn’t anticipate the minefield of choices involved. I had never heard about baby led weaning until the last month. I really like the idea of it; getting Josh to try finger foods and lots of fruit and veg. But one of my absolute biggest fears is of Josh choking. And although I’ve booked myself on to a first aid course, it’s still a very real fear of mine.

So I thought I’d try purees; I’ve got a Phillips steam and blend machine so it’s no trouble at all doing it and for those times when we are out and about I’ve used the Ellas Kitchen pouches which Josh really likes. But then, the stigma of such foods reared its ugly head. I went out with some friends, and gave Josh a bit of an Apple Ellas Kitchen pouch, which my happy little fatty was enjoying. But I felt really embarrassed  to be feeding him that when I saw others were giving their babies finger food which they were feeding themselves. I made myself feel even worse by letting Josh suck on an Organix Carrot stick, which again Josh absolutely loves and finds really soothing for his gums. But then I felt really guilty for giving him something that looks like a massive wotsit!

337f7e825a1da2f9ccda68a24b28cf18

I could tell I was putting a lot of pressure on myself. Josh is still happy breastfeeding, which I certainly want to do for 9 months, maybe even up to a year, and he is perfectly happy with the home made purees I’ve made him as well as the naughty Ellas Kitchen pouches.

And so you see I’ve hit the nail on the head there “naughty Ellas Kitchen pouches”. Why am I labelling them as naughty?! Because they are ready made I guess. I should be making them myself, I’m perfectly capable (between nursing, playing with Josh, running errands, cleaning, washing, going to classes, blogging, seeing family and friends, cooking for us etc etc). It’s that stigma again. Which is silly; when I do puree food for Josh it’s not organic fruit and veg like the Ellas Kitchen foods.

ba20aa7f6f5e74b6b6ab8913af90f0a2

After much reading, stressing and getting confused with what I “should” be doing, I’ve decided to do what I have always done with Josh. Use common sense, follow my instinct and do what makes Josh happy. Before Josh came along I read every book going, thinking I’d be able to “revise” my way into motherhood and how to help Josh sleep, stop him from crying, and get him to breastfeed. It did NOT work that way! But using my instinct, bonding with Josh and knowing what comforts him, that’s what has got us so far. That’s why I’ve got a 19lb (ridiculous I know) baby boy, who sleeps well in my opinion (I count myself lucky that we only feed twice in the night), who isn’t clingy, who loves cuddles with people other than me, and who is really relaxed.

So rather than attempting to read a million books, I’ve bought one on finger foods, and one on purees,and I’m going to combine the two and see how we get on. And I’m not going to let my paranioa that people are judging me for how I’m feeding Josh solids get to me, cause it’s more than likely that no one is judging me; I’m just stupidly judging myself!

So don’t overthink, don’t stress, don’t get too hung up on the latest trends, or what all your mummy friends are doing. But do do what is right for you, do what makes your baby happy, do what you feel is best, do trust your instinct and somehow, as always, the rest will fall into place.

And as always, I promise to try and take my own advice.

xxx

still-in-pjs

IMG_2481

**If you enjoyed this post I’d love it if you’d vote for me in the 2016 MAD Blog Awards as I am a finalist for Best Baby Blog! If you’d like to vote for me you can do so here I will be so grateful x **

Share:

32 Comments

  1. May 12, 2016 / 7:39 pm

    You will be fine lovely, stick with your instinct.
    I am giving Freddie purée and the odd bit of finger food, and he has had some Ella’s ‘naughty’ pouches and he was 18lb at last check. I reckon we are doing ok 👍🏻😘i

  2. May 14, 2016 / 9:11 am

    Very true. Mother used to read a parenting book to see what to do next. She can’t be bothered now and she just trusts her instinct #fortheloveofBLOG

  3. May 14, 2016 / 7:19 pm

    Omg this is so true – I can’t stand how all those different opinions are presented to mothers as facts and completely contradictory ones at that! Ive got a ten year age gap between my two kids and the advice on almost everything is completely different this time round than it was ten years ago – yet my son survived somehow. It’s silly isn’t it? You are spot on, we all just need to use our common sense when raising our babies. Thanks for sharing on #fortheloveofBLOG X

  4. May 15, 2016 / 1:02 am

    Ha brilliant from start to finish! Is it bad that I laughed at the Do/Don’t bullet points list? And honey you KNOW I’m all about that first pink pinterest meme if you’ve read my profile bio! I was getting ready to calm you down and reassure you and tell you to not b****y care two hoots about what all the other mums are doing but then I got to your last paragraph… And there you go…you good girl you xx #NoLinkyJustReadingYouBecause…

    • May 15, 2016 / 7:25 am

      Ah what a gorgeous comment honey thank you!! So glad you enjoyed the post <3 xx

  5. May 15, 2016 / 8:30 am

    Brilliant post and so so true! For what it’s worth we gave SB pretty much nothing but Ella’s Kitchen pouches and those Cow & Gate powdered meals when we started weaning her. She eats EVERYTHING now, like a literal human dustbin, and she’s super healthy. Don’t worry too much about those “naughty” pouches! They’re a godsend when you’re out and about.
    Really well written lovely, great post xx #KCACOLS

    • May 15, 2016 / 9:05 am

      Thank you so much for this honey it really reassures me. Josh loves them and they seem to be doing the trick. I just hate feeling that guilt – it always rears its ugly head xx #KCACOLS

  6. May 16, 2016 / 9:46 am

    Oh, this post is brilliant. I read it nodding all the way. You are so right motherhood is about common sense and instinct – but sadly for modern parents advice is easier to package and sell.Sadly alot of this advice breeds paranoia. I think you have struck the right balance and by thwe sounds of it you have one happy healthy little boy. #fartglitter

    • May 16, 2016 / 5:44 pm

      I’m so glad you enjoyed it and I do feel very lucky to have a happy little boy xx #fartglitter

  7. May 16, 2016 / 10:14 am

    This is so true! A whole world of contradicting advice and judgemental and/or well-meaning people trying to impart their wisdoms! I think weaning is the thing I’m most worried about but as we get closer to it I’m just going in with no pressure on myself or expectation of how much he will eat to begin with and hoping for the best. Great post my love – love those memes, always good if we are both still alive and have got dressed that day!! #fartglitter

    • May 16, 2016 / 5:43 pm

      So glad you enjoyed it hun. We do have so much advice thrown our way which can make your head spin when you’re still trying to learn all of these things! xx #fartglitter

  8. May 16, 2016 / 11:51 am

    OMG this is every new mum’s experience! Whatever you do could actually kill your baby and if you do nothing it will also die!! Ahhhhhh!! Common sense and natural instinct is the only way- only you know your baby and what’s best. Be confident in your decisions, you are making the right ones xx

    • May 16, 2016 / 5:41 pm

      Yep! There is so much conflicting advice it makes your head spin!! xx

  9. May 16, 2016 / 8:04 pm

    So very true! It’s enough to give you a nose bleed! I remember stressing myself into a frenzy with my eldest and I had a checklist of different home made purees and dated when she had tried each one. With my second I went with the general rule of “Is it food? Well then yes he can have it.” Pouches – yep. Tinned carrots (already cooked, peeled, room temp and little fist sized) yep, Ella’s Kitchen – hell yep! Anything that was on my plate – yep, anything that I had stood and mashed and pureed with my own little paws – Not likely! They only throw it on the floor and wipe it into their eyebrows anyway! Good luck lovely and you are absolutely right – just follow your own intuition. You’ll do brilliantly xx
    Thanks for linking up with #fartglitter

  10. May 17, 2016 / 11:12 am

    I think you have the right approach here! I was really keen on the theory of baby led weaning, and it seemed to be what everyone I knew was doing. But it really didn’t work for me and Max. If I’d stuck rigidly to BLW, he wouldn’t have eaten any food until he was much much older as he just wasn’t capable of picking it up. Ok, ‘food before 1 is just for fun’ and all that, but ultimately, he was a small baby who I didn’t feel comfortable with taking that approach. We went the puree route which Max absolutely loved – he’s been a great eater right from the off – and mixed in some finger food as well to get him used to that. We even (shock horror!) used some of the dreaded Ella’s Kitchen pouches! Best of luck with the weaning journey – it sounds like you have a great attitude to it. #KCACOLS

    • May 17, 2016 / 5:37 pm

      Thank you so much hun – it is so reassuring to hear how you got on xx #KCACOLS

  11. May 17, 2016 / 1:16 pm

    Oh I had such mummy guilt with the Ella’s kitchen but why? I couldn’t make a 7 veg organic no salt Moroccan tagine in the same way. I gave myself such a hard time weaning my first, and was infinitely more chilled with the seconds because I learnt to do what was right for us. He eats really well and enjoys what I give him so I believe that says it all. He has a mix of purée and solid food but started on purée, I’m sure I won’t still be mashing his meals when his 40! Keep doing what your doing and what works for you and you’ll be just fine 🙂 #KCACOLS xx

    • May 17, 2016 / 5:36 pm

      Thank you honey – I need to keep reminding myself that I’m not doing too bad a job at all xx #KCACOLS

  12. May 17, 2016 / 1:37 pm

    The “expert” advice drives me mad. They never say the same thing. Everyone always has an idea. My FIL drives me mad with “is she warm enough?” which is often interchanged with “is she too warm?” I’VE GOT THIS! We’re mixing purees (majority shop bought) and solid food too. We know our babies best. You’re doing a great job! #KCACOLS

    • May 17, 2016 / 5:34 pm

      Thanks honey – it’s so nice to hear when some of us go through the same issues in this respect. We know what we’re doing – we got this as you say 🙂 xx #KCACOLS

  13. May 17, 2016 / 4:31 pm

    Second time around (whenever that will be) I will do what is best for me and what is best for my baby. I will trust mummy instinct a lot more and I will do whatever I can to make our life stress free! Happy mum, happy baby! #kcacols

  14. newmummyblogcom
    May 19, 2016 / 2:35 pm

    This is very very very true, and I think they key, like with everything is…. everything in moderation. You do what works for you. Some days have shop bought stuff, other days homemade, just like our own food. You’re doing your best, you’re all happy, putting on weight, staying alive….. so well done mummy!!! Your job is done!

    Thanks for sharing on #KCACOLS and hope you can link with Franca on Sunday too x

  15. May 19, 2016 / 6:20 pm

    This is brilliant Fi – so true, you just have to run your own race and ignore all this contradicting advice! Such a fab motivational post, I really loved it…this will help so many mums in those early months with not a clue who to listen to, or where to turn. #KCACOLS #triballove

  16. May 19, 2016 / 8:03 pm

    We all have to do what is best for out little ones and although its good to know what the latest advice is or to take tips from other mum friends eventually you have to pick the path that is right for you and your family. I am using those naughty Ella’s pouches because I know that they taste 1000x better than anything I would cook and they have everything Pud’s needs. When she gets a bit bigger we will do some finger food but its all down to when she looks ready. Lovely post, I loved all the contradictions at the beginning! #fortheloveofBLOG

  17. May 21, 2016 / 8:34 am

    Such a BRILLIANT post! And a really important point. At the beginning I drove myself mad trying to follow all the advice, but like you say, it’s so conflicting anyway it’s impossible to follow. As my son and my confidence have grown I’m much more able to go with my instincts. Thanks for sharing X #fartglitter

  18. June 15, 2016 / 8:43 pm

    They should hand a copy of this out in every delivery suite!! I did the whole Annabel Karmel / Gina sodding Ford sh*t with my firstborn and my God we were BOTH miserable. So so glad you have figured out that just doing your best and loving them is all that really matters. Found this via #BlogStars x

    • June 16, 2016 / 7:56 am

      Ha ha So glad you enjoyed this! You’re right – us Mummas know best xx #BlogStars

  19. June 16, 2016 / 2:06 pm

    Love this. It’s so true. I’ve written about the best advice is to trust your own instincts. It’s ridiculous how many contradictions are out there. #BlogStars

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge