As I write this I am buzzing. It is a happy coincidence that today is International Woman’s Day, something I love to celebrate! And today I am feeling super proud of myself as a Mama and as a woman.
Holly is 7 weeks old tomorrow and until this week I’ve had my husband, family and friends around to help me since she was born. This week I’ve been flying solo and today was the first day I thought “right we’re going out”! We have gone out with other people and we have done things like popped to Josh’s nursery for a meeting but this was our first proper solo trip and we went to a little “toddler town” play place where Josh could run around and play to his hearts content, and in a space where I can see him at all times and, absolute bonus, I could have a coffee.
I planned ahead; I put Holly in the carrier so I could still play with Josh and we had a great time. There was one slightly awkward encounter when I went to go and sit down and feed Holly and another family had taken up seats at our table so I had to try and move all our stuff without Holly falling out the carrier and Josh tearing around but we were having such a nice time that it didn’t wind me up as it would have if I’d been in a bad mood! Josh played nicely, he listened to me and even when it was time to leave, knowing I may have a battle, my bribery of milk worked a treat!
I’ve spent a good few weeks worrying about going out with the two of them on my own, and although this was only the first time, I feel so much better for having done it. It’s almost boosted my confidence a bit. Having two kids, one being a needy newborn and one being a toddler with enough energy to power Norfolk, is a game changer. I was so worried about it before Holly was born that I ordered a couple of books; “Coping with Two” and “The Second Baby Survival Guide” and yesterday I finally sat down for a flick through them. As I read it I noticed that the vast majority of things in there were things I was already doing through mothers instinct and common sense! It turns out that I really wasn’t giving myself or my mothers instinct enough credit and the same goes for today. I was so sure it’d be a disaster or that I wouldn’t cope and I did; in fact I did so really well!
It’s dawned on me that as much as there are hard days and good days I have got this. I have got this motherhood malarky and that’s down to who I am as a woman.
Like all people I’ve been through ups and downs. I’ve gone through miscarriage, loss, and I’ve overcome several months of anxiety and depression that I suffered a couple of years ago before I started this blog. These are all horribly difficult and sad things to go through and pretty damn heartbreaking. But they’ve moulded me into who I am today. I think I am a really strong woman; I’m incredibly determined and when I put my mind to something, it is happening. A great example is breastfeeding. I am going to write a separate post on this but when Holly was born it quickly became apparent she had tongue tie and I had a week to get through before I knew it would get sorted. The pain was indescribable – I cried at every feed, I was blistered and bleeding and it really could have affected my attitude to nursing. But for me, with my mindset, it wasn’t an option to stop. That determined side of me helped me through that challenge. I’m a stubborn and strong willed woman; and that can benefit me sometimes.
I’m so proud to be the woman that I am and the Mother that I am. So often we don’t applaud ourselves for what we are capable of and achieve as women and Mums. I want to make sure I raise Holly to know that she can achieve anything she wants. Whatever her choices are in life I will support her and encourage her and make sure she knows to express how proud she is to be a woman. As any of you that follow me particularly on Instagram will know what a massive girls girl I am; I am all about the sisterhood and celebrating and supporting each other. This is something I will drill into Holly. “Here’s to strong women… may we know them.. may we be them.. may we raise them”. I will make sure she respects herself and fellow women and in turn, Josh will also be raised to make sure he shows women respect. It is a bonus that equality is something that is being championed more and more now and it is standard for men to be treating women equally and with respect. I want Josh to support his sister and encourage her.
So this is our day girls. Our day to celebrate each other, encourage each other, compliment each other, support each other. It’s our day to remind ourselves and each other that WE HAVE GOT THIS! Be it motherhood, career, friendships and even the little things like me getting out the house today with the kids and SURVIVING, we’re smashing it.
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