It’s been a few weeks since I’ve done a Monday motivation post thanks to a much needed holiday. So I’m glad to be back with some words of encouragement especially aimed at us tired Mummies for the week ahead.
This weekend…. well actually this last week, has been tough. And I was really feeling it. But then my lovely friend sent me this and reminded me that sometimes I should practise what I preach:
It’s been a rough few days; Josh has a tooth cutting through which is undoubtedly the reason why my usually happy and laid back baby has turned into a demonic non sleeping, fussy eating pain in the bum!! But Saturday was a really tough day. I was on my own for the day and Josh pretty much whinged and cried all day. It was one of those days I couldn’t get him to nap and he was fussing over everything I fed him. The night before he’d woke up like clock work every three hours and having had this happen for a few nights, all I could think was WHY!!!
Before we went on holiday Josh had started to sleep much longer periods, waking just once and usually pretty late in the night; 4am-ish. And we were doing well with weaning, he was enjoying it. I knew holiday might throw him a bit, which of course it did combined with the beginnings of that tooth coming through. But I’d hoped when we got home things would settle back to normal. But no, if anything they got worse! So by Saturday I’d had enough; why wouldn’t he sleep longer periods like my friends babies. Was I shooting myself in the foot by breastfeeding cause it meant I was still getting up in the night. Should I try formula at the dream feed. Or would that make me a total hypocrite (especially as I want to become a breastfeeding adviser). Why was everyone elses baby sleeping so well.
Then when he wouldn’t eat dinner and had a meltdown I could feel myself slowly losing the plot. I knew I had to just get us both out the house and go for a walk. Again all I could think was “why”. Why was he being so fussy. I felt guilty using Ella’s Kitchen on holiday so I got home and went back to cooking everything yet he wouldn’t eat what I’d lovingly made. But of course he’d demolish a tasty EK pouch! WTF was I doing wrong, when all my friends babies are sleeping angels, making baby led weaning look like a piece of piss whilst I had a meltdown over some pureed pear! As I went on that walk I had one of those moments I think all us Mums feel at times. I felt like I was failing.
Fortunately after a little cry, and once Josh had managed to get some sleep, I could put things in perspective. First of all, I am the first to say “don’t compare yourself to others”. I say that to you guys all the time. And the reason being, no one knows what goes on behind closed doors. People can paint a very pretty picture with happy Facebook photos; I probably do it myself (you lovely people just happen to know when I’m having a meltdown because I’m lucky enough to have you read my posts! Love you guys). But that friend whose baby is sleeping through, well that may not be the case. Perhaps their version of sleeping through is different to yours. Or maybe their baby is actually very fussy even if they have embraced baby led weaning like a pro. And almost certainly, all your Mummy friends will have had a day like I did Saturday, where you doubt yourself, cry, wonder what the bloody hell you’re meant to do to get the kid to eat, sleep, and generally do what they should to prevent you from losing your shit.
When my lovely friend sent me this quote (bless her she is a diamond and a very close Mummy friend that I’m super grateful to have) it was the kick up the arse I needed. Yes, Josh is being a pain in the arse at the moment. But looking at things from his point of view, of course he’s being a pain; the poor little soul has a tooth cutting through which will be horrendously painful, whilst it’s bloody stupidly hot (standard Brit; I moan when it’s hot, I moan when it rains). He’s going to be pissed off. He probably doesn’t want me trying to force mushed up root vegetables down his neck! And it’s a proven fact that teething pain is worse at night, so the poor little mite isn’t going to be sleeping as well.
The point is, all of these things are no reflection on me as his Mum. I’m, quite frankly doing a fabulous job. I’m still breastfeeding after nearly 8 months which is amazing (albeit, mostly off good (left) boob as shit (right) boob appears to have given up), Josh is stupidly fat and healthy and he is a very happy little boy. I am cooking him food most days as well as throwing in the odd EK pouch when I just need a break, I make sure we are out at classes, play dates and going for walks every day, all whilst doing freelance PA work every day, blogging nearly every day, managing my social media so I am interacting with you all, writing for other websites, plus keeping the household ticking over so it doesn’t look like a combination of Sainsburys and New Look has thrown up in it. And do you know what, I do all of this with a big smile. I genuinely love it. Yes I have hard days, testing days, days when I just need someone to show up at my house with a hug and a bottle of champagne (my friend did this the other day – f**ing love her; I could have actually married her in that moment). But truth be told, I’m winning at motherhood. Bring on the coffee, concealer and sanity we Mums need to get through the tough days. Turns out I’m not doing a bad job at all. And the same goes for you. If you’re reading this and you’ve ever had those days, done that walk, felt that doubt in yourself, take a step back and remind yourself, you’re a FANTASTIC mother, woman and person. And if you need that reassurance, just be sure to catch the eye of a fellow mummy next time you’re in Tesco/Costa/emotional hell; us Mums are part of one big huge club, where we tend to reward one another with a knowing smile; it’s not just you! We’ve all been there.
Big love to you Mummies -lets kick some arse this week. And yes, I will practise what I preach!