Happy Monday! We don’t have many Mondays left this year which I am sure most of us are glad about; the Christmas holidays will soon be here and we can enjoy Mondays a little bit more with the festive spirit in the air.
My thoughts for this Monday are all about how much life has changed from a year ago! Josh is one in two weeks, and this time last year I was an enormous bundle of anticipation and excitement. I had no idea who this little person was in my belly, I had no idea how much he’d shape me, and I had no idea of how much life would change once he arrived.
I remember by this stage last year I was so keen to know who my little person was, a boy or a girl and now I can’t imagine life without him. Becoming a mother has been the making of me. I feel it’s totally changed me, for the better. One thing I will say for myself is that even in those tough first few weeks when I was still finding my feet, becoming a Mum seemed to come very naturally to me. I was really lucky that despite a tricky start with breastfeeding, things settled down and I fed really well (albeit only from one boob after three months) and we’re still going strong now. I was so determined; I had the other options there and I could have given myself a break and bottle fed but I made a personal decision to stick at it and power through and I am so glad I did. It made me remind myself that in all the haze of learning how to look after a baby and buzzing crazy bitching hormones, I was doing a good job and that I was still me; a determined little madam. But I was now an even better version of me.
A year ago I was just Fi. I was a wife, a friend, a daughter, a sister. Today I am still all those things but more importantly I am Mummy! And I love that – especially as Josh has started saying Mama and Mum. It makes it even more special. It’s without a doubt the thing I am most proud of in my life.
There are so many things that I’ve learnt in this first year, here’s just a few!
- It is possible to survive 10 hours a day alone with a newborn baby, and two useless unconscious cats. This is dependant upon a steady stream of tea, cake and wonderful Mummy friends until Daddy gets home.
- The first bit of food you have after giving birth tastes like it was prepared by angels and floated down on a cloud just for you. The best tea and toast of my life.
- It gets easier. Then it gets tough again. Then easier. Then tough again. Things are constantly changing.
- After a month you don’t care about feeding in public anymore. If anyone did even remotely try to intimidate me with disapproving stares they got a classic Fi glare thrown their way.
- You do eventually stop crying at dog food adverts; the hormones will settle I promise.
- You will do a vast amount of impulse online shopping in the middle of the night. You will then forget you’ve ordered things and it will feel like Christmas all over again when all the parcels arrive in the post. Husbands are equally as bad for this; mine ordered a bike one night when he was up doing the feed before bed!
- I’ve learnt I can cook. I’ve also managed to do it without poisoning my child. Winning.
- I’ve been peed on more than once, shat on, and had Josh vomit directly into my mouth whilst playing aeroplane with him. It’s amazing how strong a stomach you develop once babies are on the scene.
- After about seven attempts of trying to work out how to use the baby Bjorn, I gave up. Josh was so enormous even as a newborn I’d probably have done myself an injury anyway!
- My son hasn’t eaten cat food, cat poo or cat litter!!
- The cats haven’t moved out in protest of a new baby arriving, taking all the attention and who now crawls around chasing them everywhere until he literally has their tail in his mouth
- My husband and I didn’t get divorced!
- If there is danger in the room; sharp corners, a plug socket, my son is like a magnet to it!
- I smiled and acted like it was adorable when Josh was the only baby who kicked off, shrieked, laughed and blew raspberries throughout our “relaxing” and quiet Baby Yoga class even though I was mortified.
- I only Googled on average three times a day in the first six months of Joshs life!! And I have googled things I never thought I’d google!
- I have started to borderline resent Sainsburys for the amount of money I spend there, yet continue to go shopping.
- I didn’t smother my husband in his sleep as he slept through Josh screaming at 3am.
- I didn’t hit my husband round the head with a saucepan when he asked the next morning “was the baby up last night – I didn’t hear him”
- I have never felt so happy, so proud, so vulnerable, so in love, and so tired.
It’s a constant learning curve being a parent. I don’t know everything by any stretch of the imagination, but I’m doing well. I’ve done a good job in this first year and I can’t wait to see what the next year brings.
Happy Monday Everyone