Well I’ve had a little bit of a blogging break for the last week or so, following last weeks post but this morning thanks to the 5am birdsong (seriously why are the birds so loud at this time of year) I felt the urge to embrace my inability to sleep and do some writing.
So with no particularly topic in mind this may be one of my classic rambling posts, but I like to think of it as a virtual way of sitting and chatting over a cuppa! It’s almost like writing a diary (although you’ll not be getting anything too juicy out of me)!
One thing that has stuck in my head from the past week is my new identity as “Josh’s Mummy”! I LOVE THIS LABEL! I know some people don’t like the prospect of losing their identity by becoming known as someone’s Mummy but I am full on embracing this. I like to think we can embrace that our personalities can hold more than one identify, if that makes sense, and not in a creepy dual personality way! When you become a mother, all your priorities change. Of course they do. But you don’t necessarily have to change in terms of things you enjoy. You don’t have to buy a Volvo, sign up to the waiting list for the local PTA, and become someone who wears crocs (don’t do that….. don’t ever do that). Your identity doesn’t have to entirely change. You don’t have to lose who you are. And note that I am not saying who you were, but who you are, because you are still you. It just happens that you’re now someone’s’ Mummy too. And that’s not something to get a cob on about. It isn’t a negative label, it isn’t taking away from who you are. It doesn’t meant that you are losing who you are, who you always have been, because it’s an extension of who you have become. We’re constantly growing, evolving, changing and learning, none more so than as a Mother. And in my eyes, that’s a beautiful thing.
Even more interestingly is that the gorgeous little one (my friends daughter) who labelled me as “Josh’s Mummy” also decided to tell me I don’t look like a Mummy! This made me smile; I love kids utter honest, they have no filter. My friend was a little bit embarrassed and asked her daughter what she meant to which she responded my hair looked fancy! For little old me, this made my day. Especially as the reason my hair was so “fancy” was thanks to half a can of dry shampoo and a slightly windswept look. But as always, it got me thinking. What should Mummy look like? As mentioned last week, I have come across some rather negative stereotypes of the Stay at Home Mum. Apparently the vast majority of us are sitting at home in our tracksuit bottoms. This is not the case. Having said that I love getting in a pair of cosies come the evening time! But there is so much stereotyping of Mums.
So what does a Mum look like to the world?
Scruffy, dishevelled, and in turn labelled as a chav?! Well put together complete with stripey top and pumps; labelled as a SAHM with too much time and money to spend in Joules on her hands? Glam with not a hair out of place and glowing make up; labelled vain?
You are, as previously stated, whoever you want to be as a Mum! We’re all in different situations; heading out to work, working from home, doing our 8th trip to the park this week. Whether you’re in Converse or Stilettos, we’re still all Mums. And the probably with this type of passing judgement from others is that it invariably results in us comparing ourselves to one another. As if we don’t do that enough as it is, and it’s not healthy! I’ve been on the flip side too where someone has said “well I didn’t have the time to look like that when I had a toddler”. That’s a hard one to know how to respond to. Is it a compliment, is it a jibe? I didn’t know how to take this. Obviously Josh takes up most of my time; a day with my son is basically a constant 12 hour cardio session! But with the help of a 7 minute long episode of Hey Duggee, I get to have some time to get ready. I like putting on a bit of make up every day, I like trying to have that bit of time where I can feel I’m somewhat put together for the day. I don’t feel I have to defend myself for attempting to make myself feel and look half decent. Because believe it or not, Mums can look like humans too! We can get our tired arses into the shower, change from our yoga joggers to some slim fit jeans, and slap a bit of mascara on our sleep deprived eyes. And even more shockingly (hence sarcasm) us Mamas can even look sexy sometimes! I personally love rocking a nice matching pair of undies once in a blue moon (OK, vaguely matching but the intention is there). The point is it boosts my confidence and makes me feel confident, which can be seen as a very attractive quality.
More importantly is the fact that we all know Happy Mummy equals Happy Baby.
Us Mama’s get labelled in so many different ways and it is difficult. In my ever constant attempt to see the positive in everything, I am trying to embrace that in a way. Which I hope comes across in this post. Bear in mind I’ve already warned that this was likely to be a rambling post and I’m writing it at 5.30am thanks to the bitch that is insomnia (seriously if anyone has any tips please send them my way)! But I hope this post reminds you Mamas to embrace the labels to an extent; allow yourself to be Mummy, allow yourself to be you, allow yourself to be a yummy Mummy AND when the need calls for it, be a slummy Mummy! Motherhood is all about balance; mascara v yoga pants, Joshs’ Mummy v Fi, at the end of the day you are still you. Just I am still me; the same One Direction listening, somewhat naïve, tea reliant Fi I’ve always been. It’s just that now, I come hand in hand with a nappy bag, an energetic toddler, and a vast amount of dry shampoo.
Embrace you Believe in you and Enjoy it