So we are on day 6 of my 30 day blogging challenge and todays question is:
Something you’re proud of in the past few days
I’m going to be incredibly blunt and say the thing I am most proud of is myself and the fact that I haven’t completely lost my shit!
My seemingly perfect baby has turned into a nocturnal demon – damn you 4 month sleep regression. What an absolute bitch. Since Good Friday Josh has taken to waking up around every two hours, sometimes for no reason at all; not even wanting a feed or anything. He has a whinge, I give him a cuddle and he goes back to sleep whilst I lay awake for ages trying to get back to sleep mentally writing lists of all the things I need to remember to do the next day!
There could be many reasons for this; he’s now in his cot, albeit in our room, he’s getting over a chest infection, he’s had his third lot of jabs this week, he’s going through the bitchin’ four month sleep regression, or maybe he’s just come to realise that mummy is fucking awesome and just wants to hang out with her all the time.
The positive of this insane sleep deprivation is that I am still functioning. When Josh was a newborn and waking this frequently, it was so hard. He didn’t know me, or this world he’d entered, and I didn’t know him and was still trying to figure out what made him happy, what relaxed him, what his cries meant. All the unknown put me completely on edge and he will have picked up on that and I think that’s why it took a couple of weeks for us to get the hang of everything. Doing all that on minimal sleep is hard enough. I was quite blue during that time but I got past it with the help of hubby, my lovely family and the fact that Josh and I just clicked and found our own path.
So now that four months later we are back in that same place with a lack of sleep for reasons I can’t be 100% sure of, it could have been easy to fall back into that “what the hell is going on” panic mode where you’re so tired you cry cause it takes too long for the kettle to boil. But no, I am proud to say, I am owning this shit! I’m tired, I am moaning to my fellow tired yummy mummies, and I look like I need a good week in a spa (I do)! But I’m now confident in what I’m doing, I have complete faith in myself. I am being a great Mum (something Josh agrees with seeing as he spent 20 minutes last night just looking at me and smiling and laughing, most likely at the state of me). And now that I have that faith in myself it enables me to cope. Yes I get ratty some days, the poor husband can’t do right for doing wrong half the time. He tried it on in bed the other night, when I was actually managing to get some sleep, therefore waking me up – he’s lucky he didn’t go to work with a black eye the next day I was so annoyed! But he’s putting up with me and more importantly, telling me how well I’m doing. And now, unlike in those early days, I can believe him. I believe in myself. Josh may not be sleeping too well (repeat after me, the holy parenting mantra to make yourself feel better “it’s just a phase”) but he’s a very happy baby, a very loved baby, and although his mumma is a bit shattered, she’s pretty bloody happy too. And that’s something I’m really proud of.
Come back to read tomorrows challenge:
Plans/dreams/goals you have
Would it be wrong that half of mine involve owning a Mulberry bag and a pug dog…. 😉
Happy Sunday Lovelies xx