Some things from this week:
I can’t stop eating yet I am full within about three mouthfuls
I cry at everything – Emmerdale, getting stuck in traffic, when someone tells me I look beautiful in my warthog like state even though I feel like a whale
I miss sleep already and the baby isn’t even here yet
I appear to be carrying a child who is ignoring that “most babies sleep 90% of the time at this stage of pregnancy” statistic and is mostly attempting to do cartwheels inside my uterus
Nesting has arrived
Most importantly, and honestly (you guys know I don’t bullshit on this blog) I had truly forgotten how hard this last part of pregnancy is.
I can admit that now, with the end in sight and the baby being very nearly cooked, I am ready to have this little person. I appreciate pregnancy so much, especially this one that I thought might not happen. But I am at that ARGH stage. Getting comfortable at night is becoming more and more of a challenge. I honestly don’t know whether to launch my pregnancy pillow or cling on to it for dear life. Throughout the night I need to pee approximately every 18 seconds and then when I do it’s about the amount a hamster would pee. I also struggle to switch off; my mind is constantly on the go wondering about the baby, who it is, when it’ll come, how I’ll cope with two (I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – I JUST WILL). Even the lovely lady on my hypnobirthing app is of no use and I end up ignoring her!
I don’t know if I’ve just blocked it out from pregnancy with Josh or if it wasn’t as bad but I don’t remember having anywhere near as many twinges and pains at this point before. I have regular Braxton Hicks and they are beginning to get quite (!) uncomfortable, to the point of taking my breath away and me having to do some overly dramatic breathing to see it off. The baby is really low now; far lower than Josh was at this point. If I am sat at the dinner table, in the car, or even the loo, the bump is right in my lap. I have the midwife this week and I will be interested to hear what she has to say in terms of the baby being engaged.
I have quite an irrational fear of the baby coming early for these reasons. I am sure it won’t and I have been reassured that if I do go into labour to just go to hospital and they will see in my notes that I want a section, although they have said if I got in and following an examination, if I decided to just go for it naturally I can (admittedly though, I know I won’t – I will go for the section). A couple of my best friends have had their babies recently, one was due to have a section like me, and both came early (with my friend going for a natural birth in the end). I think that combined with the worlds lowest bump and an array of twinges, pains and fake contractions has led me to wonder if Baby number 2 will make an early appearance.
I am still basically taking up residency in my bath tub. It’s pretty much the only place I feel comfortable. I tend to have a bath right before bed and often another one earlier in the evening. Yesterday I was unbelievably sick and when I got in I think I spent an hour and fifteen in the bath. It was all I could do that helped (well, after throwing up that is).
Speaking of yesterday, we packed Josh off for another sleepover at his Grandparents so Sam and I could have a bit of couple time before I drop! As I say, I was violently sick after dropping him off; it is about an hours drive back to ours from their house and for some reason baby goes mental in the car; the amount of movement is quite shocking. Because he or she is so big now there isn’t room for the usual kicks and prods, instead there is a lot of rolling about and stretching. It’s kind of like continually going on a rollercoaster! Suffice to say I felt horrendous when we got home. I certainly have a fidget for a child. After my long bath and a few hours lounging in bed doing nothing apart from reading and eating some toast, I felt better and we went to one of our favourite restaurants for a date night. Sam pointed out he couldn’t remember the last time we had a night out together just the two of us; so often we’re with friends or family or of course Josh. So for it to be just us two was lovely and we excitedly spent the evening talking about our new arrival and how life is due to change for us all over again.
It was also nice to get a bit dressed up (anything that’s not pyjamas qualifies as dressed up to me at the moment) and make myself look nice. I feel massive at the moment, although to be fair it is all bump. I don’t actually think I’ve put on as much weight as I did with Josh – I can’t see it in face and my mother kindly (!) pointed out the other day I haven’t put on weight in places such as my arms and back like I did with Josh (just for the record, I didn’t put on weight in those places last time so I don’t know why she said that)!
The nesting has arrived with some ferocity. I saw an Insta-story from the lovely Kate at Dolly Bow Bow the other day about how she’d organised the kids food cupboard and that was all the ammunition I needed to start meticulously organising our kitchen cupboards. Fortunately the nesting comes in bursts; after an hour I felt I’d “got it out of my system” and rewarded myself with a cuppa and a biscuit – standard. The next day I felt a desperate urge to buy cushions but my husband logically pointed out we have an abundance of cushions and perhaps I needed to cool the nesting! My Mother in Law is being a dream and coming over this week to get the house ship shape and ready for the baby – we’re going to be on a cleaning mission. I feel very lucky to have this sort of help.
So this week, midwife, cleaning and a weekend to Center Parcs await us. I am really looking forward to going away for a weekend with all the family, and feel comforted that if it came to it, Norwich hospital is half hour away and my chosen hospital is an hour away so if it did happen I can get seen reasonably quickly. I can’t control what may or may not happen but at least I can be prepared.
Am I feeling ready… I don’t know. Are we ever ready. I am ready practically; the bags are packed, the moses basket is made up, the nappies are bought. I am certainly ready to meet this little one – I can’t wait to find out who this little person is, pink or blue, and if it will be as good a baby as it’s big brother. The apprehension is there about the C Section even though I’ve heard endless positive stories about electives and my consultant has been very reassuring and I know I’ll be in good hands.
So I guess yes, I am as ready as I’ll ever be.