Ah so long second trimester and hello third trimester! I welcome you with open arms and a grateful heart!
Yep, that’s right people, we’re into the home stretch! In fact my app estimates 79 days to go. Which is hardly anything! Both immensly exciting and utterly terrifying in equal measures.
So how did I find the second trimester. Not too bad I suppose; I felt lucky that the sickness had reduced somewhat. Some days I didn’t throw up at all which was like heaven to me. Other days I was only sick the once. But as I had suspected, and as with my pregnancy with Josh, the sickness returned full throttle as I got closer and closer to the third trimester.
I can’t lie; it’s annoying. I thought I’d had my fill of being sick. I thought maybe now I could enjoy the pregnancy a bit more but apparently I am just one of those who suffers with the nausea. I am a pro at managing it now and have adopted quite a “just get on with it” attitude but like anyone else, I’m human and I have days when it really gets to me. It’s hard to be continually patient when you’re throwing up, you’re exhausted and your baby decides to take up residence basically in your lungs; no worries kid, I didn’t want to breath much today anyway….!!!
I knew being pregnant and raising a toddler was not going to be a walk in the park. Some days it’s positively impossible; today as I type this, I am full of cold and have a horrendously sore throat – it’s days like this I am so grateful for Josh to have a morning at nursery. Because to be honest with everything else going on it is hard to look after yourself sometimes. I am now at the stage of pregnancy where the baby is apparently taking pretty much all of the nutrients I eat; I am meant to make do with whatever is leftover. So combine that with increasingly feeling tired, heavy and as though I am carting a bowling ball between my legs, and the perils of winter season full of colds and illness, some days just feel like they take the biscuit.
I know my day today will be fully sponsored by cBeebies, allowing Josh to munch on whatever his beautiful heart desires and being massively dependant on my dressing gown (it has bunny ears and everything…… what’s that you ask; why yes, I am 34 years of age…..). And I know I am doing the right thing taking it easy. I also know I will feel guilty for that. But needs must. At these later stages of pregnancy you gotta do what helps you feel better. I am well aware that this isn’t a daily occurrence; we go out somewhere every day to get fresh air, and I am feeling blessed that Josh’s nursery will have occupied him all morning so he’s had some sort of stimulation. It can be so hard trying to find that balance; I feel like I am already doing that with both children. I try to rest and take it easy for the good of my growing baby but I also want to keep Josh happy, occupied and also relish these last couple of months were we are a duo before we become a trio and my time has to be split even more. I know sometimes I have to let go of that Mum Guilt but it’s not always easy. However I am extremely for the mere existence of the Twirlywoos for allowing me 11 minutes of relaxation now and then.
Amidst all the usual pregnancy chaos I am also having regular scans to monitor the growth of the baby. Since being diagnosed with low levels of Papp-A at my 12 week blood tests, I was warned this could mean the baby’s growth may slow down at the latter stages of the pregnancy. I had a scan a couple of weeks ago and was beyond delighted to discover baby was actually in the upper percentile; it would appear I grow beasts! I have my next scan just before Christmas and I pray that the baby has continued it’s epic growth as it will be that day they decide if my C Section will be at 37 or 39 weeks, and I obviously want the baby to stay in there for as long as possible. If nothing else, I need all the time I can get in an attempt to get my arse into gear when it comes to getting organised.
Admittedly my reading during my first pregnancy may have been somewhat excessive; I wanted to educate myself on every aspect of pregnancy, labour and how to get to grips with a newborn. It helped me feel prepared, albeit only before the birth. Once Josh was here it was very much a whole different ball game and as we all do, I muddled through with the aid of advice from professionals, accepting help from family and friends and a massive dose of Mothers Instinct. Needless to say, this time around I’ve had pretty much no time to read anything, and I feel a little bit panicked. I keep saying to my husband “what if I forget everything, I can’t remember what I did those first couple of weeks, I can’t remember how I coped with the pain after my section and so on”. Husband, in his usual annoyingly cool as a cucumber manner, reminds me I have done this all before, I’ve done a good job and I learnt a few lessons the first time around (ask for help when you need it for one)! I wish I had his faith in myself…… I know I should do. I know I will do it; I will cope, as I’ve said before, I will find a way to balance things. But it’s the unknown territory right now isn’t it; it’s watching others with more than one child and trying to take on board how they do it. It’s a hell of an eye opener. And these are the things that occupy your mind when pregnancy insomnia strikes on a near nightly basis!
Between the fears and the renewed sickness (urgh), my mind is focused on getting the house ready for the baby. As I sit here patiently waiting for my nesting instinct to kick in full throttle, I know I have a lot to do. Husband was made to go and get the moses basket and napper down from the loft yesterday (he was baffled; he asked if he should bring down the Christmas decorations to which I said no, not yet, and he pointed out that Christmas will be here before the baby) and the Amazon account has taken a hit with my need to bulk order sudocrem, baby towels and infacol (best to be prepared eh). Because right now, in my somewhat panicked state, I feel like time is flying. We’ve got Josh’s second birthday approaching, then Christmas and before I know it January will be here. However there is one thing I do need to remind myself of and find reassurance in…
There is no time slower in life than the last month of pregnancy
You hit the 35 week mark and it’s as though time stands still. You are enormous, with the agility of an uncoordinated whale (just me? Turning over in bed at night is like watching an overweight alligator thrashing about in an attempt to find its prey), you have the world and his wife asking “have you had it yet” or “still pregnant then”; why yes Susan on checkout 5 (she keeps cropping up that one) I am indeed – either that or I’ve quite seriously over indulged in apple turnovers, and you are quite frankly ready to get this kid out.
As you near the end of your pregnancy, hysteria can creep in. It’s an awful thing to admit but as you get closer and closer to your due date, you hate everyone. And everything. You are uncomfortable 98% of the time. The other 2% of your time is when you are eating chocolate chip cookies at the kitchen counter at 2am, and you are only comfortable then because you are distracted. The baby’s kicks now feel like punches. You officially have nothing to wear and start “joking” that you will be wrapping bed sheets around yourself to go to Tesco. Only you know the truth; it is not a joke! It’s a sad day when the bath towel doesn’t reach to close around your gigantic body.
Then at around 37 weeks, when you’re full term, you panic. You need that baby out now. Yesterday even. But there is the little issue of getting it out… pain, labour, blood, birth, loss of dignity (oh no, I lost that when I threw up in a bin in Asda car park in front of a bunch of workmen) You do research on how to speed this last part along. Raspberry tea. Sex (good Lord, the logistics of this when you’re full term is not something to be taken lightly). Bouncing ball. Walking. Swearing the baby is ready. Your body reaches a point of no return. You need to be pushed out of bed and pulled off the couch. You are a prisoner under a giant belly.
But guess what; It is SO worth it. Because soon I will get to meet this little person. Even now at just approaching 30 week I am already so excited to meet this baby who has made me throw up nearly every day for the last 7 months, who has created hormones that make me suffer with restless legs which is one of the most frustrating and irritating things I’ve ever experience, resulting in the horrendous sleep deprivation I’ve already mentioned, who has made me eat more chocolate than I knew possible hence me resembling a hippo, who has made me have such horrendous mood swings that my husband has had to adopt the patience of saint, and who will most likely push me to the limit when he or she arrives with demand feeding and yet more sleep deprivation! But I can tell you one thing; I’d take all these symptoms and miserable side effects ten fold for my baby. It’s so worth it. I already know this and I haven’t even given birth yet. But the love I have for this baby outweighs any negativity. I am so grateful to finally be carrying this second child of mine, after so much heartache, pain and worrying we’d never get here. So as I plough through this last trimester please bear with me; I will complain, I will ache, I will eat monstrous amounts of chocolate, but I do know how lucky I am. And I will never forget that, not even when Josh is playing trains on my back as I throw up.