What an absolutely glorious day in the sun it has been! It has been exactly what I’ve needed today to be honest.
I’ve been a bit of a stressed little pickle the last few days. It’s suddenly dawned on me that I literally haven’t stopped in the last few days…weeks….months. My days are manic. I can imagine many many Mums are reading this and nodding along in agreement. For example I am up everyday at 6am with Josh, I blog for a couple of hours whilst he dozes and plays, I then feed Josh (food as well as boob now), then get showered, put washing on, sort hubbys lunch (and breakfast whilst he’s on shift patterns), whilst attempting to get Josh to snooze. Then we usually go out to a class, or to a friends, plus we usually have to do a trip to the shops cause I spend the vast majority of my life drinking tea and therefore am constantly running out of milk. We get home and I make sure I spend time playing with Josh whilst also sorting the washing, preparing everything for his bath and bedtime, putting the washing away, unloading the dishwasher, tidying the kitchen, planning dinner, before then bathing Josh, massage, story, feed bed and then cooking my dinner. By the time I’ve done all this it’s this time, 7.30pm, and I often blog more, but more often than not I am shattered and want to curl up and watch Eastenders. I go to bed at 10 at the latest and up to do feeds around midnight and 5am.
And I do all this whilst feeding, changing nappies, cleaning puke along with doing my best to make sure I don’t look like crap, running a household that is organised and as clean and tidy as possible, keeping my husband smiling, ensuring there is “us” time (and yes that is for me just as much for him – women have needs too), fitting in a run when I can, making sure I am up to date with friends and family and what is going on with their lives (this is a non negotiable to me – my family and friends are everything to me) planning, drafting and scheduling blogs, as well as making sure I respond to texts, emails and replying to every single blog comment, tweet, Facebook and Instagram comment.
Having read all that back it is exhausting. And the last few days I’ve been beating myself up. I’ve been taking Josh to classes and to see friends and to swimming, but also trying to fit in my blogging. Plus I’ve also stated weaning Josh which is way more time consuming than I realised and yet another thing making my mind do over time (am I feeding him the right stuff, do I do baby led, why does he look repulsed by everything apart from my tit!). And I think with so much going on, my little head is spinning. That’s what has made me realise
Slow Down Mama!!!!
Something dawned on me today. I was giving some advice to a friend; she needed some reassurance which I was more than happy to give her because she is a great mum and needs to give herself a break. And then it dawned on me; practise what you preach Fi! I often use my blog to remind you gorgeous mummies that you’re amazing; that you’re doing a great job, that you have to give yourself a break, that life is all about balance. Yet I’ve not been doing that myself. I’ve not been following my own advice. And that is really stupid of me. I talk so much about how much pressure we put on ourselves as women, mothers, wives, friends, and yet here I am putting a shit load of unnecessary pressure on myself.
I am in a hugely fortunate position to be off work with Josh and my blogging becoming, dare I say it, successful! I never ever want my blog to become something I stress over as it really is my outlet; I love it. And I also don’t want to rush my days with Josh because 5 months has already flown by and I don’t want a single moment to pass me by because I was hell bent on getting the washing put away at that very moment just because in my head I have to have the perfectly tidy home. How ridiculous of me. Sometimes things happen and you see situations that really put things in perspective. I’ve worried about some really irrelevant stuff this last week, and I’ve allowed it to wind me up and ultimately, stress me out.
It’s made me think “come on Fi, give yourself a break”. I know I’m doing a good job as a Mum; Josh is such a happy and contended baby who now weighs a whopping 18lbs! I’m doing a good job as a wife; Sam is always telling me he loves me and saying how grateful he is for anything I do such as cooking or tidying the house. I know I am doing a good job as a friend; my friends tell me I am kind and that they are grateful when I am there for them, which is something that is so important to me. And I’m obviously not doing too bad a job with my blog as my followers are growing, and I’ve made it to the finals of the 2016 MAD Blog Awards.
So from now on I plan to find balance. All the million things I’m doing are things I love, and am passionate about. They aren’t things I should be stressing about. So if my house isn’t pristine, or I don’t get a blog post out every single day, it’s not the end of the world or worth stressing over because ultimately, I will get a blog post out there that’s of good quality and not rushed, and I will clean the house when I have a spare hour and feel inspired to do it and am not resentful of doing it. There is time for everything, and life isn’t meant to be rushed through. It’s there to be enjoyed and savoured. And I plan on taking my own advice and doing exactly that!
*Thank you so much for reading. If you enjoyed this post I’d be super grateful if you’d vote for me in the 2016 MAD Blog Awards in which I am a finalist in the category of Best Baby Blog. If you’d like to vote you can do so here. xxx *