So today I started to write a blog post. It was meant to be an 18 month update on Josh. But I couldn’t get into it. The words weren’t flowing. And I’ve always maintained I don’t want to write anything half hearted….. or that’s a bit shit.
I go through phases with my blog. Most of the time I am quite selfish in a way and I just write what I want. I have never done a sponsored post and I’ve done very few reviews. I love to write simply because I find it therapeutic; an outlet. I have really tried to get sponsored posts; I think perhaps I just don’t have the quality to do them for clients because I’ve not been offered them. And the reviews is my fault; I am a picky cow and I will only review things I want to actually use or try. I know myself; I can’t write about things I have no opinion of.
And of course with the blog, comes blogging guilt. As if we don’t have enough of that shit just from Mummy guilt. I am close friends with some amazing bloggers and I see them churning out incredible posts repeatedly and I wonder how they are doing it. I remember not long after Josh was born I did the 30 day blogging challenge; I have no explanation for how the hell I managed this. I must have been in some weird post baby bubble. In hindsight it may have been the perfect little escape for me each day during a time when I didn’t know my arse from my elbow and was learning how to be a mother. Something I didn’t realise would be a constant learning curve.
Sometimes I go over a week without blogging. It’s therapeutic, it helps me. But then I feel bad; I know if I want to make something of Beauty Baby and Me I need to be churning out consistent, decent posts. I can’t half arse anything, and that’s not me anyway. I put my all into everything, hence the bluntness, the honesty and the emotion that my posts, I believe, have by the shedload.
The problem now is that I don’t know where this will take me. I have learnt quickly that blogging is not something where everything is handed to you. As with any job you have to work for things. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had people ask me what freebies I’ve had today and that’s worth starting a blog alone. I couldn’t disagree more. You don’t just get sent loads of freebies, especially when you’re not an established blogger with a massive following. More importantly, I am not in it for the freebies. I’m in it for the writing and the most amazing rewards come in the form of some of the incredible comments I’ve been lucky enough to receive. When you get people asking “why on earth do you blog if you don’t make money from it, or you don’t get sent buggies by the shed load” it’s hard sometimes to explain that I am blogging for the love of writing, for the release it gives me after a stressful day, and that actually I’m doing it so that when you have a shit day and your child has decided to drive you to the edge, resulting in you secretly devouring an entire bar of Galaxy in the kitchen whilst plotting your glass of wine that night (oh the Daily Mail are going to love that line…) you have somewhere virtual to turn to, to remind you that you’re not alone
Being a Mother, with all it’s life changing rewards, can also be a little bit isolating. It can be daunting, overwhelming and I still have days now where, if I’m perfectly honest, I feel lonely. You feel like you can’t always impose on friends or family to complain about the same mundane frustrations being a parent brings up (why won’t he eat anything that isn’t beige, why has he decided napping is for wimps, why is he so insistent upon eating the internet cables). And now we are in a world where we can turn to parenting blogs for light relief and reassurance. It’s support through the written word and that is a wonderful thing.
We now all know that there has been a joke of an article on the “Daily Fail” this week, stereotyping and bluntly insulting parent bloggers, particularly ones who are amazing success stories with best selling books. One of the things that I love most about our little blogging world we’ve built (something that is amazing in itself), it’s the support and community that comes with it. So if the Daily Mail think their laughable excuse for a piece of journalism published today is worthy of being called writing then they couldn’t be more wrong! I will continue to write honestly about every aspect of being a mother; the good, the difficult and the f***ing impossibles! And it’s writers like @theunmumsymum @hurrahforgin@steph_dontbuyherflowers@scummymummies @clemmie_telford that inspire me to stay true to my way of writing! Because their writing reminds us we’re all in this together! We’re all just DOING OUR BEST! And the most beautiful thing about this ridiculous article …. it’s already clear it’s strengthened our blogging world! We’re all out to celebrate and encourage each other; fish fingers, gin, slumminess and all!
So daily mail well done….. you’ve made an already amazing community even more incredible!
And FYI can I just point out, if my husband had a stressful day at work and was ready to tear his hair out, no one would bat an eyelid if he cracked open the wine when he got home. Yet if us Mums decided to go wild and have a glass of wine after a day that has included having the home cooked food you’ve made thrown back, literally in your face, being shit on, again quite literally, and having to deal with the mother of all tantrums because you refused to let your child eat his own shoes, we’re branded bad mothers! What a joke. Thankfully there is a lot of #solidaritea in our little blogging world; we pick each other up, we spur each other on.
So that is something I have to remind myself of when I am beating myself up because I’ve only done one post a week. I have to remind myself why I started blogging, why I enjoy it, and the beautiful joys that come with it in the form of the amazing friends you make, the comments you receive saying you’ve comforted someone else just through your ramblings and, through your own writings, you can remind yourself that you need to stop being so hard on yourself sometimes.