So, this week I am the proud owner of a cheeky 8 month old…. How the hell did that happen! I can’t believe how quickly the time is going, and how fast his first birthday is approaching. One of my favourite things to do is look back and see how much he’s changed:
In terms of weight, the kid isn’t doing too badly at all….in fact he’s 22lbs. Absolutely insane! The other day we saw his little friend who was born two and a half months before him and she was 18lbs. I seem to have grown a little beast – a big well done to my boob milk! He’s quite long too, although I’m not sure exactly how long as I quit going to see my Health Visitor thanks to her stupid judgemental comments about how I feed him solids. But he’s certainly not wasting away. He’s in 9-12 months clothes now which is just hilarious. I miss his teeny tiny babygros.
Sleeping is still a sensitive subject! He dream feeds between 10 and 11pm then sometimes is a joy and goes through till 5am, has another small feed then sleeps again till 7am-ish. Other nights he can be up every two hours. I’ve been getting so annoyed and wondering why he won’t sleep through but I’m now at the point of “just go with it”. I’m still breastfeeding, so I know that’s going to have an impact, and I’m being a bit tougher when it comes to ignoring him when he’s just whinging and I know he isn’t hungry really. I have every bit of faith we’ll get there, I just have to remind myself of that when I’m exhausted.
Eating continues to go well. Josh has tried some meat and fish now, albeit mashed or pureed up (screw you health visitor). He still absolutely loves his fruit and veg and I give him some finger foods now such as cucumber sticks, breadsticks and small bits of toast. Sometimes he has days when he doesn’t seem to want to eat as much which I think is often down to teething, but all in all, the boy is a machine and loves food.
Milestones are of course being met. Tooth number two is making its breakthrough (literally – poor boy it must be so sore).I hate the whole teething process, as I am sure all Mums do, cause I just feel so sorry for him. I also think crawling is imminent; in fact today I am off to try and buy one of those baby play pens because I can’t leave him unattended for a second without him commando rolling or bum shuffling across the room. We’ve not had any signs of talking yet though. I speak to him all day, I read to him, and he has lots of interaction so hopefully that will come with time. I just can’t wait for him to say Mumma one day. I can certainly see his little personality starting to shine through though. He’s very cheeky and has all my girlfriends swoon over him the little flirt! He spends so much time babbling to himself and laughing, I feel very proud at how happy he is as it’s something everyone comments on. He’s also very relaxed; he has lots of cuddles with family and friends and never fusses, he is really chilled and I like to think that’s thanks to mine and Sams influence.
As Josh’s first birthday fast approaches, I’ve been reflecting on this last whirlwind of a year and how it’s shaped me and my values. It’s hard to put into words what becoming a mum does to you, but if I had to try I’d say it dissolves a big part of you to make way for the new person in your life. The things that matter seem to change almost overnight. Being a Mum puts everything into perspective. No longer do you sweat the small stuff, or get caught up in dramas, because your whole life revolves around this one little person. In this year my whole life has changed; I’ve become a Mum and I’ve become a successful blogger and writer and am looking at expanding to the big bad world of vlogging.
There is a lot about becoming a mother that sometimes people don’t want to talk about or share… It might be embarrassing things, or things you aren’t ‘supposed’ to say or think, but that’s exactly why I blog. Because I think it’s such a reassurance to have another Mum say “yes I’ve been there”, someone else admitting it can be bloody tough (because it can) and sharing the embarrassing truth about some of the unspoken sides of pregnancy and Motherhood. I’ve had so many amazing comments on my blog thanking me for being so honest in my writing and it means so much to me, knowing that my writing has helped someone else.
Being a mother is the hardest job I have ever had, and is a lot harder than I anticipated. It’s challenged me in so many ways, but is the most rewarding and magical thing. I want to savour every tiny moment and cherish every cuddle with Josh; He is my world. I love how I feel when I’m around him, and I love him more than I ever thought could be possible. And I also love the person he’s shaped me to become. He’s made me stronger, more patient, and capable of such a consuming love it’s almost overwhelming at times. Back in those early days, though, those first couple of weeks after Josh was born, it was definitely the hardest thing I’ve ever done, both physically and mentally. I think no matter how much you read or how ‘prepared’ you think you are, nothing can truly prepare you for life with a newborn. We were thrown into this crazy world of nappies, sleepless nights and extreme emotions. The realisation that you have a tiny little person who is utterly dependant on you can be pretty daunting, and slightly terrifying! At the same time, your body is recovering from a pretty traumatic physical experience. But we do it, because we have to. And we do a bloody good job of it. You’re exhausted, you’ve got a tiny person hanging off your boob, you’re recovering from the physical assault of labour and through all this you’re keeping that little baby safe, fed and warm. You become dependant on copious amounts of coffee and cake and help from your other half and family and friends in those early days, but do so!! Don’t try and do it all yourself; accept all the help (and caffeine) you can get.
As for me, I finally feel like I’ve got control of my body back. I feel happy with my figure again, although it has taken a long time to get used to the changes that come with having a baby. I also feel incredibly strong mentally; I know what I want, my goals, and I am far more confident in my abilities as a Mother now. I’m now able to survive on the sleep that Josh allows me and run my blog too, without having to survive on too much of a ridiculous amounts of coffee! I feel like we’ve really grown and settled into a proper family, something I’ve longed for, for as long as I can remember. And for that I feel so lucky. Yes it’s hard somedays, but it’s so so so worth it. My little monkey is looking at me now, from his Jumperaoo (ahh the circle of neglect, god bless it for allowing me a hot cup of tea at least twice a day) and smiling. He melts my heart and I am so excited to see what this bundle of joy and mischievous does next.
I really hope you all enjoy reading about our adventuress on this crazy parenthood journey and who knows, maybe soon you’ll be watching them too….!!!
Things I’ve learnt in the last 8 months:
– You can indeed survive on broken nights of sleep as I have done every night for eight months
– Eating cake every day is entirely acceptable
– Babies don’t give a shit if you have a hot cup of tea; they will want your undivided attention until they somehow know the tea has reached perfect too cold to drink temperature, at which point they’ll give you 5 minutes off to determinedly drink it down!
– Speaking of babies psychic powers, they also know the prime moment to vomit all over you or have a poonami out in public. They will wait until they have optimum audience and then go hell for leather
– Same goes for public meltdowns….
– When your baby smiles and laughs at you, all is forgiven; the early morning wakes ups, the broken nights sleep, the stressful moments when they are crying for no apparent reason
– Being a Mum has been the making of me. Happier, more patient, and stronger than ever. I believe that’s what they call “killing it” at Mummyhood.