After a testing time of late, last week I was feeling back to myself. I was feeling better, brighter and positive. So you can imagine my disappointment to come across a whole lot of negativity in the space of one day thanks to social media and the blogosphere.
I pride myself on being a positive person and not judging others. Yes as a blogger, I and my fellow blogging beauts, are putting ourselves out there to be judged. That is something you have to accept if you’re going to document if you are going to lay it all out there online…….. to an extent.
Here are just some of the comments I read directed at Mum and Parent bloggers last week:
“I’m sure if it was a Waynetta type person writing such shite rather than a prosecco swilling middle class alcoholic, people would be calling Social Services rather than applauding their “witticism”
“Posts from Mums about their kids are the most boring of them all and no you’re not a hero for blogging and making videos whilst balancing your “very busy lives” Give it up and spend quality time with your kids before it’s too late and you screw them up forever”
Now, before I continue, I must put a couple of …. warnings (!)
- This is my blog so what I am about to say, I CAN say. My space, my words.
- There is about to be a vast amount of swearing…. sorry in advance Mummy!
I fucking hate people who are mean, rude or nasty just for the hell of it. I think they are cockwombles, just out there to provoke a reaction as they hide behind their computer screens. Mum and Dad bloggers are common place now; there’s thousands of us and given the fact we’re quite (!) popular, you know what you’re likely to be getting when you take the time read our blogs. So if it’s not the sort of thing you like then it’s quite simple; Don’t fucking read them! And certainly don’t read them just so you’ve got some sort of ammunition to leave negative and unnecessary comments like that. I don’t get it; why do people have to be nasty. I’m naïve in some respects and this one of them cause my little prosecco swilling brain (!) just don’t get it.
My child is not and never will be screwed up because I write. I’m hoping my creative side will one day inspire him to embrace writing, reading and so on. He gets every ounce of my attention and any one who reads this or watches my IG stories will know I dote on my beautiful, if somewhat feral looking, baby! I mean how dare I create a space where I hope other parents can read it and have a smile, a laugh or a moment of “thank fuck it’s not just me”!
However as the day wore on the negativity snowballed as I stupidly got involved with a Facebook thread that I really regret and is making me contemplate leaving every social media group I am a part of.
I am allowed an opinion as much as anyone, and I can’t lie, it’s a bit upsetting when you put down your thoughts and then you are made to feel a bit of a tit for that. Especially from “bigger” bloggers who I admire and inspire me.
It all started out when a blogger friend of mine left a link to another bloggers latest post about the term “Girl Boss”. Now a lot of people don’t like to be labelled, which is completely fair enough. And what I’m about to write about is simply my point of view (remember the rules beauts; my blog, my words). I’ll start by saying I have no problem with the term Girl Boss. If anything, I really like it; it’s fun, light hearted, supportive of being female, and from my perspective I just see it as an empowering term that makes me feel a bit like “Yes – I got this shit together”! Always a good feeling right? The debate that rumbled on was that we’d never say “boy boss” or “man boss” and so forth.
No we wouldn’t. Who fucking cares though! I don’t see how this can be turned into a debate about sexism! Why can’t we just refer to ourselves as what we please without being torn down. My response in this debate in which I stated I like the term Girl Boss was met with a response from a blogger who is far bigger than me and someone I truly respect but they stated that they felt it made them think of a 5 year old in smeared in lipstick and wearing her Mums heels! I must point out this was NOT a personal attack on me but simply what my fellow blogger felt. And yes she’s allowed her opinion just as much as I am. But the sensitive side of me felt like a bit of a twat given this is the response my comment got, especially from someone of such a high blogging stature. Equality isn’t telling another woman what she should or shouldn’t refer to herself as – it’s surely just about being a strong woman and standing up for what you believe in, no matter how menial it is.
I feel like an idiot for being the only one on that thread saying I support the term. I absolute should not feel that way. Don’t we have enough to deal with, with the wanky little trolls I earlier referred to, without feeling torn down by those we’re meant to stand alongside. I considered removing my comments, for fear of fellow bloggers, particularly those I admire and respect, thinking I was a dickhead. But then I thought NO! Cause that wouldn’t make me the strong woman I am, one who has her own opinion on things. Saying I have no issue with the label Girl Boss doesn’t make me inferior, I don’t feel trivialised, I don’t feel like I am damaging myself if I say I am one myself, and I most certainly am not diminished as a woman, a girl or a blogger by endorsing it. If it is something that empowers me a bit then surely that’s a good thing.
I am quite naïve in some ways as I’ve already said. For someone with such an open heart, a cheeky sense of humour and, when needs must, a filthy mind, I am also very innocent on the flip side. I like that about myself cause I feel like it almost shields me against some of the negativity we face every day. There are certain things I just don’t look into much. And I don’t look at the use of the term Girl Boss and feel demoralised or insulted. Is it just me; am I too innocent for my own good, do I need to dig a little deeper with these things? I decide, No, I don’t need to. I’m 33 (a young 33 granted…. I still love One Direction, I love the colour pink, I will happily watch Harry Potter over and over). I’m also a seriously fucking strong, determined and hard working woman. Just because I don’t delve into the feminism debate much doesn’t mean I am not a supporter of women.
What I am a supporter of is happiness, positivity, encouragement and kindness.
Does it make me any less of a woman…… NO!
Can we please stop the negativity now.
SMILING BOSS 😉
And I’m afraid that simply isn’t going to change!
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