What A Difference A Year Makes

Hi Everyone,

I have been looking forward to writing this post, because I actually can’t believe what a difference a year makes!

This time a year ago I woke up as excited as a kid at Christmas! It was the day of my 12 week scan. We were so excited; I remember the appointment was in the afternoon and I desperately tried to keep busy all morning to make the day go quicker. It was such a lovely day; I will never forget the fascination on Sam’s face when he saw his baby on that screen. We were in awe and so happy.

It was so lovely when we announced it on Facebook; I know this isn’t something that everyone likes to do but we were thrilled to, as you can see from the stupid expression on my face:

C88EB813-3FDA-450E-9E9F-26ECD19A22C4

I loved that I had a little bump so early on as well – I was so proud to show off my pregnancy.

One of the things about my blog I love is that it’s something Josh can look back at (Hmm well maybe not everything I’ve written….!) so I wanted to write a little something just to him:

Dear Josh, 

As I write this you are nearly 6 months old which is absolutely crazy. I am watching you snooze on the monitor; you had decided that 5am was a perfectly acceptable wake up time but fortunately clever Mummy settled you back to sleep. 

A year ago today we got to tell everyone we were having you; it was such a relief to tell everyone and to also have to stop hiding my ever growing bump. No wonder I was showing early given the size of you, you little chubster 🙂 

You’ve changed my life for the better. You’ve taught me unconditional love. You’ve taught me that I have more patience than I realised. You make my life better every day. I remember at the 12 week scan, the look on your Dad’s face when he saw you on the screen; he was instantly in love. We loved watching how big I grew as the pregnancy went on and were on such a countdown to meet you. 

Of course you didn’t make it particularly easy as you were a massive baby and took your sweet time making your appearance into the world! But you were so worth the wait! You’ve given us the best six months of our lives. You make us smile every day; you make us realise that we shouldn’t sweat the small stuff – there are so many more important things in life. 

You’re at a wonderful age now, your little personality is shining through and it’s so lovely when you giggle at us or you see your little friends and there is recognition in your face. Every day you’re changing and I feel so lucky to have you and see you develop and grow. You are our whole world and we love you so much. And now you’ve woken up and I can hear you in your cot blowing raspberries and giggling to yourself! You beautiful little weirdo; I love you so much!! 

Love Mummy (and Daddy – even though he didn’t write this) 

C9F5392B-9088-4FA6-985A-A7A6A31A3EFF

I loved my baby bump <3

I can’t believe how much I have changed in a year. I am no longer just Fi, I’m Mummy. I love it though; becoming a Mum has been the making of me. I’ve learnt so much about myself – I am stronger than I give myself credit for, I have a lot more patience than I realised. I have the ability to survive on four hours sleep (along with gallons of coffee). I love that I can proudly say I am a good Mum; it took a while for my self belief to kick in where that is concerned. I was always worried I was doing things wrong at the beginning, or I was too concerned about what others might be thinking. But as time has gone on my confidence has grown; I am the one who knows Josh best and I do know what I’m doing, and when I do need help and guidance I’ve got an amazing supportive family and group of friends I can turn to for advice.

As well as all the typical learning curves you go through when you become a new Mum, I’ve also learnt a lot of things I hadn’t been quite as prepared for. You learn how to shower, dress and do your make up in the same amount of time as it takes your baby to nap.

You learn how to bite your tongue when given unasked for advice from people, or nod along in polite fake agreement even if in your head you’re not even listening and instead fantasising about yet another cup of tea (another part of motherhood – you become hugely dependant on caffeine…. and cake).  You learn that it doesn’t matter if you have to pay £500 when your husband accidently drills through a wire that controls your central heating and breaks it – when your baby smiles at you it makes you forget all that and you don’t dwell on these things anymore. You become braver when you’re a mother; pre-pregnancy would you have gone into a room and struck up a conversation with a complete stranger about taboo subjects such as nipples, boobs and stitches in your vag – NO! Now, it’s a surprising ice breaker!

A year ago I’d be heading off to work, I’d have a coffee with friends when I got there, I’d be in my heels and a nice dress, hair perfectly straighted and winning at winged eye liner.

Fast forward a year and I have a new boss; one who is far more demanding, watches my every move and if I step a foot out of line he lets me know in no uncertain terms. There is no pay, no holiday entitlement, no company car. Your work is never done and no matter how hard you try you have days where you are consumed with guilt and think “should I have tried this, should I have done it like that”. You are on call 24/7 and there are no days off. As for the hot coffee… dream on, now it’s all about downing a cup that’s lukewarm at best but you don’t care because you just need the caffeine.

But you can’t put a price on when your baby smiles on you, when they wrap their chubby little arms around your neck, when they do that ridiculously cute giggle! It makes every moment of that hard work (and it is hard work; yes we spend a lot of time eating cake but believe me, us Mummies NEED THE CAKE) worth while. It makes every sleepless night a bit easier. It makes you forget when your baby has tipped strawberries all over your cream carpet thus destroying it. It makes everything worth while.

I am so happy being a mother; Josh is the moon and the sun to me! He’s my everything! Him being in my life has strengthened me, it’s added an even stronger bond to my marriage, it’s made us a happy little family. It’s brought me some amazing friends, it’s taught me to look at things differently and it’s taught me that I am the luckiest girl in the world and to never take anything for granted. Josh hasn’t changed me; he’s improved me! He’s the love of my life and I can’t wait to see what the next 6 months, and beyond, hold.

IMG_3357

What a difference a year makes!

Thank you for reading, and I hope you’ll look forward to reading more about our crazy journey (I know people hate that word sorry)!

Lots of Love

Fi xxx

IMG_2481

35 Comments

  1. May 26, 2016 / 7:14 am

    Your year has been as eventful as mine and you’ve given me an idea of what I can write at the end of the month, so thank you! It’s crazy yet amazing how a baby can change someone’s life. Mine certainly has changed and the first 8 weeks of motherhood have been rewarding. 🙂

    • May 26, 2016 / 10:49 am

      Ahh yay I’m glad I gave you an idea 🙂 I’m so glad you’re enjoying it. I found the first few weeks pretty tough but so worth it xxx

  2. May 26, 2016 / 9:44 am

    Fab post. Making me excited to meet Pea now – 10 weeks to go, provided baby plays ball and shows up on time!
    PS – try using a thermos. Apparently it helps with the lukewarm tea situation!
    #coolmumclub

    • May 26, 2016 / 10:48 am

      Eeek how exciting chick!!! I can’t wait to read about Pea’s arrival. I remember how excited I was to meet Josh! Ohhh good plan honey I will try that xx #coolmumclub

  3. May 26, 2016 / 10:56 am

    I adored this post! All of it is so true, it’s all worth it for that smile when you walk into a room!

    Nearly teared up again but managed to hold myself together!

    Lu xx

    #TribalLove

  4. May 26, 2016 / 11:20 am

    Awwwww, he os so CUTE. I love newborn pics. Rian had such a funny little face <3 xxx #tribe

  5. May 26, 2016 / 11:26 am

    Lovely post and pictures too. It’s made how quick time slot flies. Pops is 3 months already and although some days I wish shed odd more and sleep through I also know I need to cherish her being so tiny! #coolmumclub

  6. May 26, 2016 / 1:28 pm

    awww super cute! my boy will be 3 next month and I honestly don’t know where the time has gone. he is growing up so quickly. #coolmumclub

  7. May 26, 2016 / 3:28 pm

    Aww, I love this! So much can change in a year it’s crazy. That letter you’ve written to Josh is beautiful and I am sure it will make him happy to read it one day.Haha, it is funny how once your a mum you don’t care about talking about all your lady bits with complete strangers!xx #coolmumclub

  8. May 26, 2016 / 5:41 pm

    oh that is such a cute little bump! All i can say for me is that this time last year i was throwing my guts up with horrendous morning (all day) sickness! xx

    #triballove

  9. May 26, 2016 / 7:52 pm

    Funny, I was just thinking earlier that this time last year we were living in a building site – in fact, living at my in-laws. It’s amazing to see what a difference 12 months has made, and no more so than when you have become a Mum for the first time. Such a lovely post.
    Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub – see you in 3 weeks!

  10. May 27, 2016 / 7:47 am

    Oh this is a lovely post, Fi. I love the letter to your son – beautiful. Isn’t it just the most wonderful thing, having a child – you learn things about yourself that you had no idea about – and the unconditional love is crazy isn’t it? Love the pictures too #triballove ps am super impressed that you could do perfectly winged eyeliner – I’ve never learnt that damn skill!

    • May 27, 2016 / 12:09 pm

      Ah thank you so much honey!! You definitely learn so much as a mother it’s amazing 💖 #triballove

  11. May 27, 2016 / 2:53 pm

    Really enjoyed this dear. Glad you shared your journey (I dont hate that word 😊). Your letter to your son is beautiful! It is amazing all things you realize you can do once you become mother! Hope the next 6 months is as good as the first. Things change so much in that first year. #triballove

    • May 28, 2016 / 10:08 am

      Thank you so much for your lovely comment honey xx #triballove

  12. May 29, 2016 / 7:25 am

    Such a lovely post – it’s mad how your life changes so much ( even though you swear having children won’t change you) Pre Children I wore heels, the latest fashion was out most weekends – fast forward six years and I’m thinking of bed at 9pm on a Saturday and have no clue what is fashionable any more!! X

    • May 29, 2016 / 8:17 am

      It’s crazy isn’t it! Ha ha I’m the same although I managed the dizzy heights of 10.30 last night!! xxx

  13. May 29, 2016 / 1:18 pm

    Ah this post is lovely. The time really flies doesn’t it? Your boy is such a cutie!

    #justanotherlinky

  14. twotinyhands
    May 29, 2016 / 11:07 pm

    Awww I love how he’s the boss! Such s lovely letter and lovely photos X #happydayslinky

  15. May 30, 2016 / 10:03 am

    Wow that’s a great 12 week bump! Lovely to read – although if my husband cost me £500 drilling through wires he’d be sleeping in the shed 😉
    #bigpinklink

  16. May 30, 2016 / 5:46 pm

    Oh, I have so much love for you and for this post right now Fi!! What an amazing tribute to the love you have for Josh, just an incredible read, that’s warmed every inch of my heart!! Yes indeed, the difference a year makes is unbelievable!! I love the picture of you pointing to your bump when you announced your pregnancy, you look just so ecstatic!! I love that you are relishing every second of your new role, and how much you love it shines from every word! Your zest for life, and how freely and easily you express your love, continues to be an inspiration to me. And don’t apologise for using the word journey-I know some people hate it, but I like it! And um, it is a journey, so what else should we be calling it…?! Xx
    #bigpinklink

    • June 1, 2016 / 8:04 am

      Honey this comment means the absolute world to me thank you so much xx #bigpinklink

  17. May 31, 2016 / 5:42 pm

    Lovely letter and brilliant pictures! Time goes so quickly doesn’t it and within a blink of an eye the moment we were so happy to announce has been and gone. Thanks for linking up to #justanotherlinky xx

    • June 1, 2016 / 8:03 am

      Thanks honey – it has absolutely flown by xx #justanotherlinky

  18. June 2, 2016 / 9:28 pm

    I loved reading this post Fi! I can feel the excitement and emotion in the post, from just reading it. That is such a sweet letter to Josh, I hope that when he old enough to read and understand, he is proud of his Mummy. It’s amazing how quickly time flies, isn’t it? Six months is a brilliant age, it’s when all the fun starts happening, and around this age is when I noticed all the changes in my daughter. I also found that it got easier around the 6 month mark too, whether this was something to do with food and coming out of the 4-month regression I don’t know. Enjoy every minute with Josh, they grow up so quickly and time does fly. Thanks so much for linking up this week at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x

  19. June 2, 2016 / 11:22 pm

    I love your letter to Josh and his little newborn face, so sweet! It’s amazing how motherhood changes you, I totally didn’t expect it. Thanks for linking up to #HappyDaysLinky x

  20. June 3, 2016 / 7:58 am

    I can’t believe the cute little bump you already had a 12 weeks! So lovely. And you’re totally right about how your confidence grows with time X #anythinggoes

  21. June 3, 2016 / 7:51 pm

    A year can make such a difference can’t it? Loving that you had such a fab bump so early on too! Thank you for sharing in #HappyDaysLinky x

  22. June 3, 2016 / 11:08 pm

    How lovely! It is amazing how much everything changes in such a short space of time. Sounds like it’s all going fantastically for you. #justanotherlinky

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge