So I’ve no doubt you’ll have seen the recent Facebook trend of the Motherhood Challenge. The purpose of this is to post three pictures of yourself and/or your little ones that reflect how motherhood has been for you. Now in my opinion, this is really cute. As a new Mummy this was a nice opportunity to show off three nice pictures of me and Josh, someone I am insanely proud of and I also really enjoyed looking at my friends photos when they posted their motherhood challenges.
Anyway, on the day I posted mine, a girl I used to go to school with updated her Facebook status to say she thought the challenge was irritating and insensitive. Her reasoning for this was that we should consider the women who may be struggling to get pregnant, or who have had miscarriages and loss and then have to see all these pictures. I can’t remember the full rant that she posted but I personally found it very negative and unnecessary, saying she was sick to death of seeing them and basically how could people be so self involved to post them! The most surprising thing about this is that the lady herself is pregnant.
Now maybe it’s my post baby hormones, or the fact I am a very feisty person but I then posted my own little rant:
“God, you really can’t do anything on here without pissing people off! I hate that by posting something nice which makes you and most (!) of those around you smile, there’s always someone negative out there to tear you down! God forbid you speak happily about your life, something you’ve worked hard to achieve or dreamt of for so long and are now celebrating it! Nope, apparently you can’t say f**k all on here these days without people having a bitch and a moan! Ridiculous! And no, I WON’T stop posting what I want, cause it’s MY Facebook! If you don’t like it feel free to unfriend me!”
Now I have been honest in my struggle to fall pregnant with Josh, it took well over a year and I’d actually had an appointment booked to see a fertility specialist before finding out I was pregnant, so I am familiar with the struggle it can be to get pregnant. I’ve also suffered more than one miscarriage in my life, again a horrendous thing for any woman to go through. So I can identify with the sensitivity that should be addressed when dealing with these subjects. But does that really mean we can’t celebrate when something wonderful happens! I hated the implication I should be more sensitive about what I put on my own Facebook page when I think I am an incredibly caring person and would never intentionally hurt anyone. I don’t think this ladies rant was only aimed at me or was personal towards me but it really struck a nerve with me. I’ve been through these horrible experiences but I can hand on heart say, I would never ever begrudge any of my friends celebrating their children, or any other happiness in their lives. Yes, I can understand that momentary jealousy you feel at times; I had it when I’d hear about people falling pregnant when we were trying, but that feeling was still always outweighed by happiness and then a feeling of positivity; my time would come. And it did!
Following on from this, I have seen an article in one of the broadsheets titled “Facebooks Motherhood Challenge makes me want to punch my computer screen”. Talk about a title screaming negativity before you even read the article. The author acknowledges the challenge is meant to be a bit of fun but that, to her, “it is actually a smug way to measure women”! Talk about reading too much in to it!! I don’t think it’s about smugness at all; it’s a fun excuse to share pictures of moments you’re proud of. Those pictures don’t determine motherhood, no one knows what goes on behind closed doors and lets face it we all have challenges everyday with simply being a mother. It’s not easy. But in this world where we are so often bombarded with depressing news stories of terrorism, violence, deceit and negativity, can we not just enjoy a moment to see some nice pictures of cute children and friends and family that we love and take happiness in seeing something that makes us genuinely smile.
Enough with the negativity please. I’m all for peoples opinions but lets just spread the happiness and not tear each other down.
Sorry if this post is a bit of a rant! I’ll be interested to read your opinions. Motherhood is real, it is a challenge, but it’s also wonderful and something to celebrate.
Lots of Love and Positivity