So you know that moment when you suddenly realise you’re about to become a mother! I cannot believe I am writing my 38 week update!! This past week has, as they always do, flown by! But I am feeling it now; I am so tired and achy. I’ve also been told that baby is engaged so now it is all about being patient…. not something I am very good at! It has suddenly hit me that the baby is going to be here soon and we’re going to be parents. The fact that out of eight mummy’s in our NCT class, four have now delivered their babies (all early) has made it even more real. I feel like I’ve gone from having a countdown and thinking the birth seems ages away, to suddenly being aware of every twinge, pain or ache in case it means it’s time. I am having loads of Braxton Hicks which I am seeing as good practise and I’m bouncing constantly on my birthing ball, as advised by the midwife. But reality really has set in and now, for the first time, I am starting to feel pretty nervous. Of course, any first time Mum is going to feel anxious about the birth and going into labour; from speaking to other mummy to be friends we’ve all had that fear of “how will I know if I am in labour”. I do believe that, as everyone says, I will know; I think there must be a certain amount of instinct and I am sure I’d be able to tell the difference between a Braxton Hicks, and a real contraction. I often wonder how I’ll feel when I have that first contraction or when (if) my waters go. I imagine a huge rush of emotions; excitement that things are starting, fear of the unknown and what is going to happen next and the sheer mind blowing fact that life is about to change forever! I bet it is one hell of an adrenaline rush. And I hope I stay calm; everything time I think about or write about my birth,calm is a word I feature heavily. It really is so important to me that baby arrives to a quiet environment with, reasonably, calm parents. I know my husband will be calm – he takes everything in his stride. And if I am fortunate enough to have the sort of birth I’d like, I like to hope I’ll be reasonably calm. I had discussed with the midwife my desire for an epidural and I happened to mentioned I’ve been obsessed with having warm baths throughout my pregnancy so she suggested I use the birthing pools prior to the epidural to relax and see how I get on, so I hope I get to do that.
Our home is already a happy home and it is going to be an even happier one soon:
Most of all though, there is a real air of excitement in our house at the moment, well apart from the cats – they are fairly chilled in their approach to the new arrival……
I think one of the biggest fears I have is of that first couple of weeks after I’ve had the baby. I have done lots of reading during my pregnancy, something I’ve really enjoyed, and I’ve taken on board a lot of things I want to have a go at doing during those early days. And these are things that are different from what either my family or my husbands family may have done with their children. I have every faith (I think!) in myself as a Mum and I know my husband will support me but I guess there is that element of fear that people may judge me, or remark in a negative way about how I want to do things. For example, and I pray this doesn’t sound bad, but when baby is first born and we have lots of visitors (which is something we are really looking forward to – but please bring cake!!), I will want to spread them out across a few days. I know myself well enough to know I couldn’t handle twenty people visiting a day and also I have a really strong feeling about the baby being passed from person to person. That may sound over the top or stupid, but this little baby will have gone through birth, it will be trying to get used to me and his/her dad, and it will be given lots of cuddles from many loving and excited people (I have a group of amazing friends who are all already of Aunty status to this baby which I love). But I will be concious of the baby being overstimulated from being passed from person to person because at the end of the day, it will be me that will need to try and settle the baby that night and, more than likely, not sleep. I don’t want him or her to be confused or overwhelmed by all the different faces and smells when it’s still trying to figure me out. So although I am strong in how I want to do things, I am nervous about the responses of others in my way of doing things and my thoughts on subjects such as that. Fortunately friends, and especially friends who’ve recently had babies, will no doubt fully understand my way of thinking. I have always been a bit of a worry wart, something I’ve actually managed to be a lot better at dealing with in the last year since dealing with panic attacks and anxiety last year, so I am trying to balance all these thoughts out in my mind, and rather than worry, I will put my energy into being firm in what I feel and enjoy these last couple weeks of pregnancy. I thank my friends for keeping me calm when I’m having a worry moment! Women are the ones who understand this stuff and it’s lovely knowing we’ve got each other to turn to.
Anyway enough of my rambling on (the beauty of a blog; you can get your feelings out and do so without worrying you’ll offend someone, but find solidarity from readers and other bloggers). Here is this weeks update (who knows, maybe it’ll be the last one until baby arrives……)
How Far Along:
38 weeks today! And you can tell!!! Bump has definitely dropped and I am feeling a lot of twinges and movements very low down. In fact I got the fright of my life when I went for one of my many wee’s last night; I had the weirdest sensation down below, quite painful and as though I was lugging a bowling ball between my legs! All perfectly normal from what I’ve read but it certainly stopped me in my tracks.
Weight Gain: After not weighing myself for a couple of weeks, I braved it this week. Safe to say I’ve put on a few more pounds and am now hovering around the 10 stone, 9lbs mark. It still sounds like a massive weight gain given how tiny I was at the start of 2015, but I like that I’ve got a bit more weight on. I’ve had a lot of lovely friends and family say that the weight gain suits me and that does boost your confidence a lot. As I’ve said before, the worry of losing the weight does play on your mind, but these sorts of comments make me feel better, plus the big boobs are a bonus!
Stretch Marks: Had a momentary panic this week when I thought I had one. But it turns out I’d scratched myself! Bump is pretty itchy now but so far, so lucky. I do have some redness around my belly button (a full on outie now, though it has been for ages) as it used to be pierced back in my “I want to be Britney Spears” days but it doesn’t look like an actual stretch mark so hopefully if I continue with my oils I’ll avoid them.
Sleep: I am feeling even more tired this week if that’s possible. Still have good nights and bad nights. I had an awful night at the end of last week and was really sick and couldn’t get back to sleep, it was just horrible and I was feeling very sorry for myself. My wonderful husband took pity on me and made me this lovely breakfast in bed before he went to work the next morning:
But then I’ve also had nights when I’ve got a good nights sleep. So it’s still very varied. As I said, I am a lot more tired now and am making sure I nap in the day as soon as I feel the need. I figured my body will want me to save my energy for labour (I hear it’s quite exhausting 😉 ) so I’m following it’s lead!
Best Moment This Week: I’ve had a really lazy week this week to be honest and it’s been most needed. The ladies in my family treated me and my cousin to a lovely joint baby shower lunch at their craft weekend this weekend. I don’t go on craft weekends (I can’t make anything, absolutely useless and it’s really not my thing) but as they’d booked it at a holiday home very close to where I live, my husband (who was in on the secret) drove us over there to have lunch with them and we were once again spoiled with some lovely treats and a yummy lunch. We even stuck around and had a go at some crafting and were very proud of our Mummy, Daddy and Baby snowmen we made out of some socks and rice:
It was a lovely day and to top it off when we got home we had some of our lovely friends come to visit unexpectedly which was brilliant. It was so good to have a catch up and they even treated me to these absolutely beautiful flowers:
And an additional highlight this week, and one I should frankly be ashamed of, but I’m not, was the arrival of the new One Direction album. Yes it’s rubbish pop music, but who cares – everyone is allowed a guilty pleasure and I figure a dance around the kitchen whilst listening to it would help get baby moving!
And I must mention that we’ve had more early NCT babies born this week; we’ve already had Oliver and Tabitha make early appearances, and this week saw Ruby and Clara welcomed to the world! I am so happy for my friends who have had their babies so far and I am hoping, with 4 out of 8 of the girls delivering early, perhaps there is something in the water!
Miss Anything: I’m still really hating not wearing my wedding rings. I look at everyone elses with such envy now! I can’t wait to have mine back on again.
Other than that, not really missing anything. I have a sore back most days so obviously I miss being able to sit anyway I want without my back constantly hurting, it’s always in the same spot and it’s hideous. But I’m at the end now I just try to remind myself, not much longer.
Movements: Baby is still active lots. It’s nice feeling the kicks a bit lower down now, rather than in my ribs. I had asked the midwife if it is true babies slow down in their movements in the run up to labour, but she said this was a myth and that I should still feel movements. This emphasises the importance of keeping an eye on your babies movements right up to delivery and always trust your instinct. I know I’ve done a whole article on this before so I won’t rehash everything in it, but it is an opportunity to remind you pregnant ladies to keep any eye on the movements and don’t ever feel like you’re a burden; as my midwife said, they would always rather see you and check you over should you have any concerns at all. Mine is continuing to go crazy when I eat and drink and I still absolutely cherish those moments when I wake up in the morning when I feel baby moving in my tummy and it’s the most lovely way to wake up, being reminded of my baby growing away cosy inside me. It really is a magical feeling and one that I am so grateful for every single day.
Food Cravings: I’ve not really had any cravings this week. I’ve been pretty sick again so I’ve been a bit boring and had lots of toast, pasta, porridge and other bland and boring foods. I do seem to be relishing every meal though as each time I have one I wonder if it’s the last one I’ll have before labour so I make sure it’s got food that will give me energy, hence all the carbs.
My friend mentioned a while ago about liking crumpets with peanut butter and since then I’ve had them pretty much every day. So you can imagine my delight when I discovered Giant crumpets this week! I was very happy!!
Sickness: And so it continues. Had a few really nasty bouts of sickness this week. But I’ve just made the concious effort to take it easy; I’ve not been rushing about as much as I normally do and getting lots of rest. I must admit, and I hope this doesn’t sound stupid, but I am really proud of myself for how I’ve handled the sickness throughout my pregnancy. I know some people have borderline rolled their eyes when it’s been mentioned, and I suppose that’s just because they have no idea how hard it is as they’ve not been through it. I hate being whingy so I really really hope I haven’t given off that impression in these blogs, I’ve tried to remain upbeat and positive about it, as it is all worth it and when I meet this little baby I will forget any sickness and won’t care. And I know I would, and will, do it all again tomorrow!
I will be keeping a super close eye on sickness though as the midwife said it can be an early sign of labour – God knows how I’d be able to tell due to the frequency of my sickness, but I am sure I’ll be on tenterhooks now up until the birth!
Mood: I covered this really at the start of this post. So many emotions; happiness, contentment, gratefulness, excitement, fear, nerves. But overall I am just so so so excited – I can’t stop thinking about this little person and I am beyond excited to find out who he or she is. I keep thinking about the names we’ve chosen and how close I am to meeting him or her and even last night when we were having a final go over our names (with some last minute changes…….. ohhhhh) the excitement was making me well up with happy tears. It’s a very emotional time!
Looking Forward To: The same as last week, meeting this baby! As the time gets closer and I think about this huge life changing event, I just get so excited. Yes, as I’ve said I am scared and nervous, but more than anything, I already feel so bonded to this baby, I love him/her so much already and I cannot wait to have that moment when he or she is in my arms. Oh dear, I’m welling up again!!
I’m also looking forward to a weekend with my husband; it will mainly consist of doing all the things that bring on labour so a long walk along the beach, a lot of eating (I know you’re meant to have spicy food but I don’t like spicy foods so I figured I’ll just eat anything) and…… cuddles 😉
So who knows, maybe next week I’ll have news. And if not, I’ll just be even more excited than I am now if that’s possible.
I couldn’t end this post without mentioning the tragic events in Paris this week. I don’t want to dwell on it too long; we all know how horrific it was and I am sure every single parent out there worries what kind of world we are bringing our babies into. It’s just heartbreaking to have seen those images on the news, I am sure I am not the only one who shed tears. I just wanted to say my thoughts and prayers are with those affected. I’ve lit a candle every day and said many prayers in memory of those who lost their lives in such a senseless way. All I can hope is that someone, somewhere can start to seriously put a stop to these horrendous excuses of human beings. I pray for a change.
Have a good week everyone, look out for each other and tell those close to you that you love them every day.