Prepare yourself readers. I’m in a feisty mood as I write this! So, I hear people think Caesarean Sections are the “easy option”…..!! The celebrity choice. Too posh to push. In fact the other day I read this, written by a female author who had had more than one C Section herself and proclaimed:
“Everybody knows a woman who has a C-section is taking the easy way out of labour and childbirth. In fact, many go so far as to say she didn’t really give birth at all. If a woman can get pregnant, she can give birth naturally. It’s science. Women who have C-sections are just choosing not to give birth the right way. Which is why, if you’ve chosen to have a C-section (because it’s always a choice) instead of breaking your vagina by passing a baby through it, you haven’t actually given birth. You’ve taken the easy way out.
Real women break their vaginas the way God intended. I should know because I am not a real woman. I took the easy way out. I chose to have three c-sections, and let me tell you, they were each a cakewalk”.
Now first of all I must stress this article was genuine. It was not spoof, or sarcasm. The writer went on to say that through her choice of having C Sections she wasn’t a “real woman” (I HATE THAT TERM) and she was proud of it and her choice. The message in her article was to “own it”.
I am all for us women having a choice and making the right decisions for ourselves but I have to say this article pissed me right off. First of all C Sections are not a walk in the park. They are major surgery, one that you have to spend at least six weeks recovering from! And it’s not like you can just chill after having one; the tiny human that popped out of that incision will make sure of that. I think a lot of women see the celebrity craze of C sections and opt for them thinking it might be easier and less scary than a natural delivery. And that is the individuals choice. But it shouldn’t be seen as the easy way out; yes you may well avoid the exhaustion and pain of labour but you’ve got to go through a major operation, a long recovery and are left with a daily reminder along the top of your bikini line. I just wish women knew that it’s not al a breeze. It’s certainly not something I am against, but I would never see it as an easy option.
It doesn’t matter how you do it; how ever you brought your child into the world, it makes you a REAL WOMAN. And what the hell she means by saying you have a choice….. let me rectify that. I went through 36 hours of labour, including failed forceps before I was told that for mine and the babies safety, I HAD TO HAVE A C-Section. Not a choice, a strongly recommended piece of medical advice. There is nothing easy about going through a C-Section. It’s scary and it’s a situation that is out of your control in the sense that you have to leave it all to the surgeons and have faith in the medical team. It is just as much an act of giving birth as a vaginal delivery. I was absolutely petrified during my C-Section (as well as being delirious after no sleep in 36 hours), and I really struggled with the recovery in terms of being a bit mentally scarred by it all as well as being a lot less physically able to do day to day things that we take for granted until we are unable to do them without help. But having said all that, I will choose to have an elective C Section if and when I have another baby. This is because I’ve been told that will be the recommended safer option for me and I will always follow the medical advice I’m given. But surely anyone can see, that is not an easy decision for me to make; it’s a big operation, it’s a lengthy recovery and it really frightened me. It certainly isn’t some light hearted decision made because the latest celeb Mum has declared it is super easy and you’ll be trotting about doing your food shopping two days later. And it certainly isn’t something we should feel any less of a woman about.
The writer of the article I’ve referred to totally gives us C-Section Mums a bad name. So many people genuinely do think having a C-Section is the easy option and belittle other Mothers for having them. So reading something like that, written by someone saying they’d had a C-Section and then agreeing it was the cowards option is just going to enforce that stigma associated with C Sections. I think it’s really damaging. Now however you decide to have your baby, we all delivered our babies the same – through blood, sweat, tears, exhaustion, and a lengthy recovery. Shame on anyone who would think less of a woman for her personal decision on how to have her child brought into this world. Don’t mock any woman for having a C Section, despite what this person has said it is NOT always a choice and even if it is a choice you make, you shouldn’t be made to feel ashamed of that in any way, shape or form.
And whilst I’m on a rant, can I just say, “real woman” is the most irritating saying ever!!!! I don’t care if you’re curvy, thin, rich, skint,have stretch marks, had a natural pain relief free birth, or are the epitome of perfection, none of us should be deemed real woman on such off the cuff remarks. That is now how a woman should be defined. We’re all REAL WOMEN simply because we are WOMEN! We (usually) empower each other, support each other, champion each other. We are the sex that goes through childbirth, pregnancy, period pains and a vast array of uncontrollable hormones! I wish this phrase would stop being used behind the disguise of celebrating an individual trait in someone because it doesn’t celebrate anything. If anything, it pits us against one another; I’m naturally slim, so am I any less of a real woman than Holly Willoughby with her beautiful curvy figure. I had a C Section, does that make me any less of a real woman than my best friend who went through a natural delivery. No it doesn’t! So quite frankly I’d like to see the back of this saying, and of women shaming each other in anyway for their choices. If a C Section is what you choose or are medically advised to have, then don’t let anyone make you feel bad for it. Cause to be blunt, you’re bringing life into the world, and whichever way you do it, it’s going to bloody hurt!!! So celebrate that instead; you’re strength and womanly instincts to handle any thing that’s thrown your way.