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  • What Does A Mum Look Like To The World

    Well I’ve had a little bit of a blogging break for the last week or so, following last weeks post but this morning thanks to the 5am birdsong (seriously why are the birds so loud at this time of year) I felt the urge to embrace my inability to sleep and do some writing.

    So with no particularly topic in mind this may be one of my classic rambling posts, but I like to think of it as a virtual way of sitting and chatting over a cuppa! It’s almost like writing a diary (although you’ll not be getting anything too juicy out of me)!

    One thing that has stuck in my head from the past week is my new identity as “Josh’s Mummy”!  I LOVE THIS LABEL! I know some people don’t like the prospect of losing their identity by becoming known as someone’s Mummy but I am full on embracing this. I like to think we can embrace that our personalities can hold more than one identify, if that makes sense, and not in a creepy dual personality way! When you become a mother, all your priorities change. Of course they do. But you don’t necessarily have to change in terms of things you enjoy. You don’t have to buy a Volvo, sign up to the waiting list for the local PTA, and become someone who wears crocs (don’t do that….. don’t ever do that). Your identity doesn’t have to entirely change. You don’t have to lose who you are. And note that I am not saying who you were, but who you are, because you are still you. It just happens that you’re now someone’s’ Mummy too. And that’s not something to get a cob on about. It isn’t a negative label, it isn’t taking away from who you are. It doesn’t meant that you are losing who you are, who you always have been, because it’s an extension of who you have become. We’re constantly growing, evolving, changing and learning, none more so than as a Mother. And in my eyes, that’s a beautiful thing.

    Even more interestingly is that the gorgeous little one (my friends daughter) who labelled me as “Josh’s Mummy” also decided to tell me I don’t look like a Mummy! This made me smile; I love kids utter honest, they have no filter. My friend was a little bit embarrassed and asked her daughter what she meant to which she responded my hair looked fancy! For little old me, this made my day. Especially as the reason my hair was so “fancy” was thanks to half a can of dry shampoo and a slightly windswept look. But as always, it got me thinking. What should Mummy look like? As mentioned last week, I have  come across some rather negative stereotypes of the Stay at Home Mum. Apparently the vast majority of us are sitting at home in our tracksuit bottoms. This is not the case. Having said that I love getting in a pair of cosies come the evening time! But there is so much stereotyping of Mums.

    So what does a Mum look like to the world?

    Scruffy, dishevelled, and in turn labelled as a chav?! Well put together complete with stripey top and pumps; labelled as a SAHM with too much time and money to spend in Joules on her hands? Glam with not a hair out of place and glowing make up; labelled vain?

    Dressed Up or Make Up Free, I’m Still Mama Fi, INSIDE AND OUT!

    You are, as previously stated, whoever you want to be as a Mum! We’re all in different situations; heading out to work, working from home, doing our 8th trip to the park this week. Whether you’re in Converse or Stilettos, we’re still all Mums. And the probably with this type of passing judgement from others is that it invariably results in us comparing ourselves to one another. As if we don’t do that enough as it is, and it’s not healthy!  I’ve been on the flip side too where someone has said “well I didn’t have the time to look like that when I had a toddler”. That’s a hard one to know how to respond to. Is it a compliment, is it a jibe? I didn’t know how to take this. Obviously Josh takes up most of my time; a day with my son is basically a constant 12 hour cardio session! But with the help of a 7 minute long episode of Hey Duggee, I get to have some time to get ready. I like putting on a bit of make up every day, I like trying to have that bit of time where I can feel I’m somewhat put together for the day. I don’t feel I have to defend myself  for attempting to make myself feel and look half decent. Because believe it or not, Mums can look like humans too! We can get our tired arses into the shower, change from our yoga joggers to some slim fit jeans, and slap a bit of mascara on our sleep deprived eyes. And even more shockingly (hence sarcasm) us Mamas can even look sexy sometimes! I personally love rocking a nice matching pair of undies once in a blue moon (OK, vaguely matching but the intention is there). The point is it boosts my confidence and makes me feel confident, which can be seen as a very attractive quality.

    More importantly is the fact that we all know Happy Mummy equals Happy Baby.

    Us Mama’s get labelled in so many different ways and it is difficult. In my ever constant attempt to see the positive in everything, I am trying to embrace that in a way. Which I hope comes across in this post. Bear in mind I’ve already warned that this was likely to be a rambling post and I’m writing it at 5.30am thanks to the bitch that is insomnia (seriously if anyone has any tips please send them my way)! But I hope this post reminds you Mamas to embrace the labels to an extent; allow yourself to be Mummy, allow yourself to be you, allow yourself to be a yummy Mummy AND  when the need calls for it, be a slummy Mummy! Motherhood is all about balance; mascara v yoga pants, Joshs’ Mummy v Fi, at the end of the day you are still you. Just I am still me; the same One Direction listening, somewhat naïve, tea reliant Fi I’ve always been. It’s just that now, I come hand in hand with a nappy bag, an energetic toddler, and a vast amount of dry shampoo.

    Embrace you Believe in you and Enjoy it





    1. May 16, 2017 / 11:42 am

      Love this post and was thinking about something very similar yesterday and how we’re all mums no mattet what shape, size or background we come from. I remember talking to a mum when Pops was in special care who I wrongly judged. She was covered in gash tats, smelt a bit dirty and just seemed a bit manky. Then I found out what she was contending with, another kid, being a single mum and a prem baby with lots of problems. I certainly changed my view, she was still a mum and wanted the best. Xx
      Fran Back With a Bump recently posted…Marvellous MondaysMy Profile

    2. May 17, 2017 / 3:57 pm

      It’s so bloody hard to define yourself when the title mum is judged so heavily. I wish we could just be without the worry of who we are putting ourselves across to be. I wonder whether we are the most judged group out there and not in a good way! Here’s to a positive connotation of a mum! Great post lovely xx #DreamTeam
      justsayingmum recently posted…Pushing Adulthood AwayMy Profile

    3. May 18, 2017 / 5:29 am

      I love this. I completely get what to you mean. It’s important to just be yourself, even if that version of you has changed and evolved and comes with an added level of crazy toddler. #coolmumclub

    4. May 18, 2017 / 6:25 am

      I have woken up in a foul mood today because little one had a terrible night and I have a very busy day (they always do that!). The reason I have a busy day is that this evening I am going to watch Take That, the absolute highlight of my year and me of a few years ago would have been bouncing off the walls at this point, desperate for it to be this evening already. I sulked a lot at 5 am this morning that I wasn’t feeling like that, that being an overgrown boy band fanatic doesn’t feel the same any more… but, you’ve helped me realise I still get to enjoy just in a different way. I shall spend the day singing and dancing to ‘Never Forget’ with my little lad and love it. Whether he will or not is a different matter! Thank you for your post, you’ve no idea how well it was timesld for me x #coolmumclub

    5. May 18, 2017 / 12:04 pm

      Great post! Even with a baby and a toddler i managed to get dressed and have some.make up on most days as it made me feel a heck of a.lot better. Whh should we hve to look scruffy to prove we were doing parenting right?! Judgement is everywhere and id be a liar if i said i dodnt sometimes fall into the judgey trap. You sound like you have it about right and fab hair by the way! #coolmumclub

    6. May 18, 2017 / 6:57 pm

      It’s so true that when someone reels in shock that you’re a Mum it makes you dance a little happy dance! Guess we are all trying to break the stereotype and still feel like the cool chicas we used to be, and still are.
      Thanks so much for linking up to #coolmumclub
      MMT recently posted…High Five to the honest Mum blogs #solidariteaMy Profile

    7. May 20, 2017 / 10:03 pm

      This is gorgeous Fi! I love being labelled ‘mummy’ too, but it doesn’t, as you say, mean that we are not us anymore. These days the old mum stereotype couldn’t be further from the truth. #DreamTeam
      Annette, 3 Little Buttons recently posted…#DreamTeam Linky 55My Profile

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